Memorial Day weekend is officially upon us. The influx of tourists has already begun, and those locals who haven't already fled to the Keys or Orlando better get ready to mingle with a couple thousand of their new best friends.
In situations like these, telling the tourists from the locals becomes important. How else are you going to know to whom you can speak your native Spanglish, or make sure that hookup you met at Wet Willie's is just a one-night stand, and not a source of awkward run-ins for the next several months? Unfortunately, telling the tourists from the locals also becomes more difficult during Memorial Day weekend, because only the most dedicated party people (read: locals who are just as crazy as the tourists) venture onto the beach.
So we've compiled this handy guide to the differences between the hoards of tourists that flock South for the weekend and Miami Beach locals who've rarely strayed west of West Ave. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.