| Culture |

Matey, Ye Be Warned

Lock yer doors, pirates be comin'

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From Blackbeard to the infamous Captain Barbarossa, history's most renowned pirates have all exhibited an unseemly talent for raping, pillaging, scheming, cheating, and lying. Ironically, this past Friday, before a modest crowd who had gathered at Bayfront Park to witness the cast and crew of Pirates Mutiny clamber onto American soil, City of Miami Mayor Manny Diaz declared: "Miami is the perfect place for pirates."

Hmmm, methinks ye be right, matey.

Truth be told, the twenty or so members of Pirates Mutiny are neither in the habit of plundering riches nor distressing damsels with their dastardly ways. Instead, this Spanish-based troupe comprises dancers, acrobats, singers, and performers, most of whom hail from Europe. And judging by the 20-minute sneak peek show — the first of six held in and around Miami touting their upcoming tour — this two-hour long spectacle is best described as part pantomime, part circus, part musical — family fun, if you were.

Not that it's bad. Pirates Mutiny has, apparently, dazzled more than two million at its permanent home in Spain, and for anyone forced to attend a show this holiday season with the fam, this seems to be among the more bearable. Lots of action and ay me matey hollering for the kiddies and for the adults, hoards of lithe half-naked bods to ogle.

Acts run the gauntlet from contortionists and fire dancers to the ubiquitous drunken sailor and a human skipping rope -- ouch!

The show is scheduled to make its Stateside debut December 1 in a specially constructed 25,000 square-foot tent in Bicentennial Park. Tickets range from $20 for the little ones to $75 for those who want the option of guzzling a free bottle of bubbly before the curtain rises.

And what are the odds that by the time "The Funky Chicken" song blasts through the speakers (yes it's part of the score), that only those under the age of three -- or the ones who took advantage of the free booze and are three sheets to the wind -- will be giggling? -Joanne Green

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