Lesbian Nation

SAT 8/14 The last time Pandora Events threw an all-women party at Nerve Lounge, the club's Rudolf Piper didn't believe the promoter's attendance expectations and ended up behind the bar pouring drinks as penance for his lack of faith. Not so tonight. Expect a fully staffed bar as the party celebrates the Pandora Events Six Year Anniversary, where close to 1000 women of all persuasions will be letting loose like a bunch of slumber-party bandits.

Yesi Leon and Amy Alonso admit they founded Pandora out of sheer boredom.

"We started it because we were women, lesbians, who didn't have anything to do," Alonso explains. "So we started having parties."

The pair will make sure no one in the house will be yawning. Instead be prepared for howls, those of local party favorites the South Beach Coyote Girls. The squad of sexy cowgirls promise to jump on the bar, grind their hips, and pour alcohol into luscious lipstick lips. The flirt quotient should be high, as long as you stick close to the bar among a bunch of thirsty gals who want their share of free booze.

Go-go dancers will be working platforms throughout the club in all kinds of slinky outfits, and lots of free stuff -- from CDs and T-shirts to bottles of shampoo and conditioner -- will be up for grabs.

Alonso promises lots of sexy lesbians, from mullet-headed flannel mamas to fierce Prada princesses, black girls, white chicks, couples, bisexuals, and even straight girls.

"If you're a straight girl and you come, you won't get bothered by a guy," Alonso promises. "But you'll probably get bothered." DJ Alex H will keep you dancing with house, Latin, and hip-hop till the wee hours, in the great tradition of South Beach.

The party starts at 10:00 p.m. at Nerve Lounge, 247 23rd St, Miami Beach. Admission is $10 before midnight, $12 afterward. Get there before 11:00 for free cosmopolitans. Call (305) 975-6933 or visit www.pandoraevents.com. -- Karen Dale Wolman


Home Movie Madness

SAT 8/14 In case you didn't know it, today is National Home Movie Day. It's when nostalgia freaks go traipsing into dusty closets to unearth footage from happy wedding days, first birthday parties, and baby baths of all kinds. But to the more serious movie nut, these reels of 8 mm, Super-8, and 16 mm film are treasure troves that capture moments of history in a uniquely personal manner. The Florida Moving Image Archive is known to house one of the largest collections of home movies in the country. Today it unveils films produced by the Miami Amateur Film Club, a group of filmmakers who worked locally in the 1950s and '60s. The members would gather in homes to discuss cinematic techniques and critique each other's works. Miami resident Wendy Hill, whose parents were members of the club, donated a box of reels to the archives after finding them during a recent spring cleaning. Check out what these local gems reveal. The screening starts at 11:00 a.m. at the Wolfsonian-FIU Museum, 1001 Washington Ave., Miami Beach. Admission is free. Call 305-375-1505. -- Juan Carlos Rodriguez

Wild Wild West

Outlaw actor Marlon Brando directs

THU 8/12 It would be a little more than 10 years until Marlon Brando would play the Godfather, but director Stanley Kubrick (2001: A Space Odyssey) should have still known not to cross the actor, who died last month at age 80. In 1961, while the two were making the Western One-Eyed Jacks, Brando ended up assuming directorial duties when he clashed with Kubrick, who quickly left the film. With a script supposedly doctored by both Rod Serling and Sam Peckinpah, and great performances by Karl Malden and Slim Pickens, Brando couldn't go wrong. Too bad the film came in months late, at 3 times its original 2-million-dollar budget, and that the indecisive director shot more than a million feet of film, prompting the studio to step in and execute the final cut. See the only film Brando ever directed at 8:30 p.m. at Miami Beach Cinematheque, 512 Española Way. Tickets cost $10. Call 305-673-4567. -- Nina Korman

On With the Show

NOW 24/7 Nicole Kidman may not be accompanying him, but Michael Jackson is scheduled to be there. So are Beyoncé, Jay-Z, Jessica Simpson, and Usher. Who knows, basketball star/rapper/ new Miami resident Shaquille O'Neal might even make an appearance too. But will you be sashaying down the red carpet in your finery and watching celebrated musicians pick up their man-on-the-moon statuettes at the exclusive MTV Video Music Awards? Not unless you have an invitation. Sure, for this city the VMAs are the social event of the summer, but you won't be able to buy your way into the Sunday, August 29, extravaganza, going on for the first time ever at the American Airlines Arena. Tickets are not for sale. However, don't resign yourself to watching the festivities on TV just yet. MTV will give away 2000 coveted tickets to ordinary people like you. Correction: Make that 2000 people who own a computer or at least have access to one. Log on to vmainfo.mtv.com and register to win. -- Nina Korman

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