Have you ever dreamed of popping your junk to live performances by Dionne Warwick, Pharrell Williams, and Pittbull's "Gasolina"? All while wearing seven different layers of clothing including a pair of Tinkerbell wings you've awkwardly wrapped around your chest in an artsy-attempt at makeshift shall?
And have you ever dreamed of doing all this while participating in a silent auction, drinking cocktails courtesy of Grey Goose, eating a gourmet meal prepared by Chef Thorsten Leighty, and rubbing elbows with the likes of the Real Housewives of Miami, an un-muted Elaine Lancaster, and Lea Black's BFF Rick Ross?
Really? You too?! Great! You got 10 grand to spare? We have an event for you.
Don't have that kind of green? You're telling me that you lost all your money calling the Psychic Friends Network
who never once predicted an economic crash that would lead to you
getting laid off and losing your home? Well, it's time for you to learn
some really unsexy stripper moves and get engaged to a rich French dude
you have luike warm romantic feelings for, because The Black's Annual
Gala Benefit is coming to the Eden Rock Hotel this Saturday.
And if Christy Rice has taught us anything, you really need to cough up
$10,000 if you want to waltz around this event looking a high-priced
call girl. That's because 100% of all ticket and silent auction proceeds
go to the Consequences Charity and Foundation, which raises funds for
education versus incarceration for over 7,500 at-risk youth.
"This is our 17th year doing our charity gala and raising money to give
kids who are acting out opportunities for education, vocational
training and exposure to the arts, in lieu of incarceration. Our work
with the Juvenile Services Department of Miami-Dade is unprecedented in
its ability to help these children envision a future beyond their
current circumstances," says founder and Real Housewife of Miami Lea Black.
Wow! We're impressed! Not once in that statement did she mention that the only time you don't
have problems is when your dead or how she's now Madonna! And it seems
her fancy attorney husband makes sense too, look:
"It costs less to educate a child than to incarcerate one," says renowned attorney Roy Black. "And this is an event that brings our community together with celebrities, sports stars and a very good cause - it's great fun and not your typical black tie gala."
Just keep in mind, that if you hit this red carpet at this
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extraordinary celebrity gala empty handed, Bravo! just might cast you a in
reality show and center the entire season around the fact that you never
paid. And really, who wants to watch that?