Kenny Roger Tees and Bacardi Ice Buckets: The Miami Thrift Store Roundup

Miami's an expensive city. Whether it's jacked up parking prices, costly concert tickets, or the Lobster cooked in foie gras and opium at that new restaurant on South Beach (worth every penny in this writer's opinion), a weekend out on the town will leave you more in debt than our National Treasury. If you're looking for ways to scrimp and save, look to Miami's second-hand stores, thrift malls, and other havens of penny pinching. We've compiled a small sample of the treasures they contain.

Kenny Rogers '84 World Tour Long Sleeve Shirt
Perfect For: People Nostalgic For a Time Where Country Music Was Relevant

Maybe you know Kenny Rogers from his string of classic country hits? Or

maybe you know him from his starring turn in The Gambler series of TV

movies? Or his chain of roasted chicken restaurants? You probably know

very little about Kenny Rodgers and just want something cool to wear out

on the town. That's OK. Walk with pride as you adorn your chest with

Roger's bearded face. The long sleeves may cause you some discomfort in

this heat, not helped by the fact the shirt seems to have been made with

the finest itchy fabric Reagan-era sweatshops had to offer. But

remember: If you were going to put comfort over fashion, you'd be wearing

sweatpants, right?

Perfect For: Your Little Sister Circa 1999

Joey Fatone may not be your favorite N'Sync member. He may not even be

your second favorite. Owning a Joey Fatone bobblehead tells the world

that you're OK with not being top dog. That you appreciate that you're

lucky to be along for the ride. It makes an excellent paperweight if

you're trying to liven up your office. Or you can use the bobble to have

Joey nod yes emphatically at you when you pretend you're Justin

Timberlake.

Perfect For: Alcoholics Concerned with Bar Decorum

Fan of rum? Tired of having cocktail parties ruined by stuffy guests too

good to use your ice machine to fill their glass? Then this Bacardi ice

bucket is the perfect fit for you. Finally an ice bucket that lets

people know how dedicated you are to your rum. Sure, it was purchased at a

thrift store and God knows what may have been put inside over the

years, but that shouldn't stop you. Just wash it out a couple of times

with bleach and you too can 'Come to

Bacardi.' (Where is Bacardi exactly? We say its anywhere you start to get your alkie shakes and tremors.)

Perfect For: Minor League Baseball Announcers Wanting a Caricature of Themselves as their Team Mascot

Confession time: I don't know for sure if the man depicted in this work

of art is actually a baseball announcer. He could be a team manager. Or

even a half-human, half-dragon hybrid forced into a job as a sports

mascot in an attempt to acclimate into society. Either way, it's a

conversation starter. Who is this man? Why is there a caricature of him?

This piece as much a mystery at the reason by Mona Lisa's smile.

• Lifestyle