Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) was a guest on Jon Stewart's The Daily Show last night, and a roast of Florida broke out. Eh, let's be honest -- we deserve it. Funny is funny.
Rubio was on the show to promote his new book American Dreams: Restoring Economic Opportunity for Everyone, but the entire first segment was Jon Stewart going to town on Florida.
While introducing Rubio, Stewart took the opportunity to slam some Florida counties for their LGBTQ intolerance. Same-sex marriage became legal in Florida last week, but some counties have folded their arms and refused to perform any courthouse marriages this week -- gay or straight. Dammit, North Florida, we can't take you anywhere. Why you gotta North Florida so hard? This is your fault. Now Jon Stewart hates us.
Stewart said officials still hanging on that anti-LGBTQ ledge should maybe take a look around and focus on, uh, bigger problems:
"You live in a giant cockroach-choking, hazard-infested, Hooters-dining, reptile-abusing, Everglades-draining, election-ruining, stripper-motorboating, ball-sweat-scented, genitalia-shaped, 24-hour mugshot factory."
Stewart brought up a Florida man who was arrested last week for slapping another man with a bearded dragon, and a Deerfield Beach man who died after participating in a roach-eating contest -- as if these things don't happen anywhere else.
"You choked to death on cockroaches. In any other state, that's news," Stewart said. "In Florida, it's just one of the check boxes on the coroner's cause-of-death form."
Rubio eventually got to appear on the show -- after a commercial break following Stewart's nine-minute Florida rant -- and was good-humored about the Florida-bashing that preceded him.
"What's happening, man?" Stewart said.
"You don't plan to go to Florida anytime soon," Rubio said. "You're a candidate for a lizard-beating."
"You look very fit," Stewart said.
"It's Photoshop," Rubio answered. "And I stopped eating roaches about six months ago, so I've lost a lot of weight."
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You can listen to the entire Rubio interview below. Stewart and Rubio eventually get into politics, mainly subjects brought up in the senator's new book.