John Leguizamo Will Lie to Your Face, and Wishes Us a Happy Birthday

You know John Leguizamo from his sassy roles in Moulin Rouge, Romeo + Juliet, and of course, To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar. But after March 9, you'll know him as the funny guy from Ghetto Klown, the one-man show he's bringing to the Fillmore Miami Beach.

Leguizamo's newest project is a stab at an autobiography, making his whole life fair game for jokes and stabs. We're packing Depends that night. Surely they'll come in handy.

We snagged an interview with the guy, and in our efforts to get to know him a little more, we forced him to confess his deepest, darkest secrets to Cultist. Okay, maybe not the deepest, darkest ones, but he did tell us about the last time he cried. Aw, the tears of a klown. (Sorry, we couldn't resist.)

New Times: Describe your ideal woman.
John Leguizamo: Aside from my wife, you mean?

Sure, if you want to save yourself.
Petite, a little curvy. I like flavor... gotta have flavor. Kinda girl next door.

We figure it's tough to keep the jokes going all the time. When was the last time you cried?
I cried last week in Colombia. One of my aunts came to see the show and she was so moved. She was weepin'. So she starts wailing and then she cracked me.

What's your favorite part about your job?
Going on set or on stage and doing my thing, and being allowed to do my thing, and rocking my thing. When you can do that, everything else is, like, whatever.

Our favorite role of yours is Miss Chi Chi Rodriguez in To Wong Foo. What's yours?
I really liked Where God Left His Shoes. That's been my favorite role so far. I was really moved by the role and the script. I thought it was so honest and powerful. I played a dad to this kid, and we felt like a real family.

Now, don't deny it, because we all do it. When do you lie the most?
Easy. At premiers I'm the biggest liar. You're like, "Oh my god, how am I going to tell that person that their movie is unbearable?"

So you don't tell them?
I just say the location was incredible. Or that a scene was really good. Or I say, 'You really did something, boy'. But in reality, it blowed.

What's your mantra?
I wanna just enjoy the hell out of life. Blow up every minute. What the hell, why not?

Do you think you do it everyday?
Yeah, it's exhausting but I try.

It's my birthday.
Happy b-day! Glad you made it out of your momma.

Ghetto Klown hits the Fillmore Friday, March 9, at 8pm and runs through March 11. Tickets cost $33 to $78.50. Visit for more about the show, and to hear Leguizamo tell you how raunchy, nasty, and freaky it is.

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Alex Rodriguez