Before getting your GTL on in anticipation of her arrival or jumping off the MacArthur Causeway - depending upon where you stand on the whole Jersey Shore phenomena --know that Jenni Farley, aka JWOWW, is only confirmed to be back in South Beach for a day - that we know of.
She and her castmates spent the summer infecting South Beach their Jersey charm a couple of years ago, but this time she'll be at GNC on Lincoln Road on Monday from 5 to 6 p.m. shilling for Ab Cuts, a natural body supplement. That's a joke, right? JWOWW and natural body anything in the same sentence. Read on, if you dare:
JWOWW will be in store signing something, but we're not sure exactly what. Maybe Ab Cuts gel looking things (although that would be difficult because they look oily),
her book The Rules According To JWOWW: Shore-Tested Secrets on Landing a
Mint Guy, Staying Fresh to Death, and Kicking the Competition to the
Curb, body parts, or something else we can hardly imagine just
Maybe only second to The Situation, JWOWW has sold herself to untold
riches capitalizing on her Jersey Shore celebrity. We guess it makes
sense that she's stumping for a body fat reduction thingamajiggy since
trying to look good, screw dudes, and going out has been the entirety of
her life for the past several years. It could be worse, she could be
professional wrestling like Snooki.
Her reps say she'll be flying solo on this one. Too bad. We wouldn't mind
seeing her throw down again with one of her castmates (a poll on her
website has fans thinking she is most likely to box Sammi Sweetheart
Check JWOWW out at GNC (622 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach) from 5 to 6 p.m. on Monday, March 21.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.