Film & TV

Jersey Shore Shark Attack Fulfills Our Reality TV Fantasies

When we first saw the words "Jersey Shore Shark Attack," we immediately imagined that the Jersey Shore cast had returned to Miami for another season of embarrassing, drunken antics -- and were tragically eaten alive in the waters of South Beach. (On-camera, one hoped.) It turns out that didn't happen -- but you will get to enjoy the next best thing.

Jersey Shore Shark Attack is

not a headline but a made-for-TV movie set to debut on SyFy this

summer. And it's boasting a cast that is truly Jerseylicious, including

Tony Sirico, aka Paulie "Walnuts" from The Sopranos, and N'Sync's own

Joey Fatone, appearing as ... himself. The ladies of the cast are

basically unknown, but with character names like "Nooki," we're pretty

sure we'll be loving to hate them just as much as their reality TV


The plot description sounds just a delightfully cheesy as SyFy's other

fare: Angry, ravenous sharks terrorizing the Jersey Shore as Captain

Sallie (Sirico) and the rest of the cast fight to save their town --

and, we assume, undergo gruesome deaths complete with transparently

terrible special effects. We're hoping this is the first in a trend of

science fiction parodies of reality tv shows. Kardashians vs. Loch Ness?

Bridezillas vs. Godzilla? Get on it, SyFy.

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Ciara LaVelle is New Times' former arts and culture editor. She earned her BS in journalism at Boston University and moved to Florida in 2004. She joined New Times' staff in 2011.
Contact: Ciara LaVelle