In June, we told you about Jonathan Lee Riches' insane theories that Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, and the rest of her reality star family are Al Qaeda members. Turns out, he's not alone in his habit of wacky Kardashian conspiracy theorizing -- especially now that she's Kanye West's baby mama.
The couple's announcement that they're having a baby last week inspired more than a few Twitter users to hatch their own wacky theories about what the Kimye baby really means. An intentional diversion from more serious political issues? A plot to rule the world? Yeah, it gets weird.
I'm watching the Kardashian show where Kim is on birth control and she's freezing her eggs. But she pregnant now? Hmmm #Conspiracy
— Ron Swanson (@TheBlackFabio) January 1, 2013
Look, the real Ron Swanson wouldn't waste his time with issues of continuity, especially when it comes to E! reality TV shows. Because he probably doesn't know who Kim Kardashian is.
So Kim kardashian announces she's having a baby and we officially go over the fiscal cliff the next day I'm officially calling conspiracy
— Tyler Hackett (@Tylhack) January 1, 2013
Yes, Tyler. Our nation's economy is closely tied to Kim Kardashian's menstrual cycle. When it stops, so does the American Dream.
And Tyler's not alone:
— Caleigh Bourgeois (@CalesBourgeois) December 31, 2012
But really. Watch the news, people.
— OLAASM(@OLAASM) December 31, 2012
That's not a conspiracy theory; it's a state of being. Bad things are always happening in D.C.
And then there are the "rap royalty" nutsos:
It's all an illuminati conspiracy for Kim Kardashian and Kanye's baby to grow up with Blue Ivy, then take over the world when they're older
— fay-z (@Shenk_MJsmeeze) December 31, 2012
People of Earth, meet your future rulers.
Kim Kardashian being pregnant is no surprise. Kanye gotta keep up wit Jay Z its all part of they conspiracy.
— Hate2SayIt¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (@DOUGHBOIMUZIK) December 31, 2012
Hate2SayIt takes a more hipster conspiracy theorist approach: No surprise, I totally saw this coming, Kimye baby shock is, like, so last week.
Kanye and Kim kardashian gonna have a son that will marry blue ivy #conspiracy
— كيفن بندقية (@theGUNshow) December 31, 2012
Don't be a bigot, @theGUNshow. The Kimye baby could also be a daughter that will marry Blue Ivy. This is 2012, after all.
— Mandy Abplanalp (@manda_lauren12) December 31, 2012
Manda's right. Babies are gross. They puke and poop and put their mouths all over everything. Seems kinda harsh to offer them up to the devil for it, though.
Is Kanye West's impregnation of Kim Kardashian just an elaborate conspiracy to stress-test the Internet? #justaskingquestions
— Armin Rosen (@ArminRosen) December 31, 2012
Hey, we're not saying it's a conspiracy. We're just saying the test is well under way.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.