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How Can I Stop Being So Insecure and Land My Dream Guy?

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You know Miami stripper Skrawberry for her rap skills, her political commentary,

and of course, her sexy moves on the pole. Now, you'll also know her

for her sound advice. In this weekly column, Skraw responds to readers'

questions about life, love, and beyond. Got a question for Skraw? Hit

her up at skrawberry@miaminewtimes.com.


Hey Skraw,

I'm the type of woman who has no problem with talking and expressing my feelings to anyone. I guess I'm pretty outgoing! But when it comes to this one dude in particular, I have a hard time expressing my feelings. I really like him, too. Shit, I might even love him, LOL.

We've been talking for about a month now, but I feel this way because of the simple fact that I'm not usually what he goes for! I'm no ugly chick -- a little on the thick side, but I'm content and no one has seemed to complain before -- but with him ... my insecurities have kicked into over-drive. What should I do?

Sincerely, Harm

Hey, Harm,

For one, you are contradicting yourself. First, you say you are content with yourself, then you say because you like him so much, your insecurities are comin' out! You can't be both!

You ever thought that maybe he's tired of the usual, small, petite women he normally dates, and that that's the reason he's even talkin to you? If he didn't feel some kinda way about whatever y'all have goin on, he would have not lasted a month. Trust me, honey, you gotta be doin' something right for y'all to be more than a week in!

Women show our emotions. When we like a man even a little bit, it shows! And it's nothing wrong with it. Men, on the other hand, hide theirs. With that bein' said, he knows you like him. He's probably just feelin' the same, but afraid that you wouldn't take him serious. Even if you look at him a certain way, drop whatever you are doin' even once, have great conversation, or even light up to him when he speak to you, he knows you're doin those things because you like him.

And if he felt some type of way about your weight? It's his damn problem. Especially if he ain't doin' nothing to help you get it off (if that's what route you choose to do) -- he can get his ass in the gym with you! But he's not complaining, and you shouldn't let that get in the way of you lettin' him know what's up. Talk to him and see where his head at. If he don't sound like he's ready to get serious with you, leave his ass where he stand. Don't waste your time beatin' a dead cat cause it ain't gonna get up and run!

On the other hand, don't try to rush and put a title on y'all "friendship" -- you might scare him off! But just talk. Let him know how you feel. He can take what you're sayin' into consideration, boss up, and give y'all a try. Or he can say he want to remain friends. Either way. You know you spoke on your feelings and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I think he'll like you!

Skrawberry

Email your questions for Skrawberry to skrawberry@miaminewtimes.com. Follow Skrawberry on Twitter @Skraw_Berry.

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