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How Can I Be Sure My Man Still Loves Me?

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You know Miami stripper Skrawberry for her rap skills, her political commentary,

and of course, her sexy moves on the pole. Now, you'll also know her

for her sound advice. In this weekly column, Skraw responds to readers'

questions about life, love, and beyond. Got a question for Skraw? Hit

her up at skrawberry@miaminewtimes.com.


Dear Skraw,

So I've been with my boyfriend for four years. We live together, and we have two kids together. We often talk about getting married and shit. He says he wants to be with me and our kids above all. But there are times when I question his feelings. I gained weight after I had our son, and now I'm not as secure as before. I have my suspicions. Overall, I love him, but do you think I'm overthinking the situation? Or should I confront him about it all?

Sincerely,
Tisha

Tisha,

If you have to question one's feelings about you, instead of doubting yourself, take your questions to him! He owe you that much after carrying his children!

We as women all want our day. That special day when everything is about us -- our wedding day! So some of us settle for anything and anybody who offer it to us without questioning ourselves -- "Can I see myself with this man forever, do he fulfill my needs, am I in love with him as a man or a person as a whole, etc" -- and in the end, we learn to be unhappy because we done married this person we barely know or halfway don't like. Questions most of the time mean doubt. And if you gotta doubt the man you're with, you don't need to be tryin' to marry his ass.

Don't stick around for 10 years and just be his baby mama, even though you can't force nobody to marry you. If you wanna be with him, give him a ultimatum: Either he gonna stop BS'n and get with the program, or he gonna tell you straight up that he don't wanna be tied down right now!

This is somewhere else most women go wrong: After havin' a man's child, we sometimes feel as if the father of our child is suddenly not as attracted to us as they were before. He got you pregnant, and you gained weight carrying his child. They don't think we're unattractive; we make ourselves ugly by stressing over things we have no control over. That's your man and your child. While you questioning yourself and insecure about your weight, ask "Do I wanna trade in my children to be fine again?" If your answer is no, get over it. Move on. Buy clothes that fit. That's gonna make you feel good about yourself.

If you don't want the weight, diet and work out. Don't do it alone though, drag him with you, since you're already tryin' to improve yourself partly for him! Do it as a date. It'll be fun. He might find it sexy to see you workin' out! Besides, if he love you enough to make you his wife, your weight and nothing else should matter because he see past all of that!

Skrawberry

Email your questions for Skrawberry to skrawberry@miaminewtimes.com. Follow Skrawberry on Twitter @Skraw_Berry.

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