Film & TV

Hobbits Are Real, Have "Invaded" Miami, Weekly World News Claims

It's always a delight when Miami makes the pages of the Weekly World News. After all, the only thing that could make this town more wacky is a treatment by the people who brought us Bat Boy and who still believe Elvis Presley is out there, somewhere.

The publication's latest claim: That the Hobbits from Peter Jackson's The Hobbit (which conveniently happens to open this weekend) have come to Miami.

They came thinking it was L.A., naturally, but they're staying for the topless beaches.

In the story, "HOBBITS INVADE MIAMI," with the preciously thug sub-headline of "Straight Outta Middle Earth," a "spokesperson for the Hobbits" tells WWN that they find Miami to be a place of acceptance and support for minorities like themselves.

The "weather and topography" here are similar to that in Middle Earth too, according to a Hobbit who apparently preferred to remain anonymous.

Other fun facts about the Hobbits in Miami:

  • They're not terribly bright; an L.A. producer tells WWN, "The movies make them out to be heroes who are smart and kind, but really they are some of the dumbest beings ever to exist on the planet."
  • They're mostly Harfoots, aka the shortest Hobbits, with a few Stoors (the swimming kind) mixed in.
  • They're being taken in as pets by South Beach locals. (We're surprised animal advocate and Real Housewife of Miami Joanna Krupa isn't already championing their cause.)

So, can it be true? No, you weirdo. Still, if you're a nerd in South Florida, you've gotta love this particular fan fiction. See the whole story at Weekly World News.

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Ciara LaVelle is New Times' former arts and culture editor. She earned her BS in journalism at Boston University and moved to Florida in 2004. She joined New Times' staff in 2011.
Contact: Ciara LaVelle