Have Anger Management, Alcohol, and Daddy Issues? Bad Girls Club Wants You

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We have some of the best news ever. No, Sarah Palin isn't taking a vow of silence. No, the Miami Heat haven't announced that they are getting their shit together. Bad Girls Club is looking for new gals to join the gnarly gang ... and they are looking in Miami.

Even though they are moving the show back to L.A. after a nice run in

Miami, they're looking for the baddest bitches in South Florida to join the show. And lucky for all

you ladies, applying is easy as most of the girls from past seasons of the show.

Are you the baddest girl you know? Do you love to party and start drama? If yes, then all you

have to do is show up to the Hard Rock Café this Saturday (11 a.m. to 5 p.m.), be 21, bring a recent picture of yourself, and a

photo ID. And if you can't make it this weekend, you can apply online here.

They say they are looking for girls that, "Realize their bad behavior has hindered their lives and want to change." Well, we think that's a bunch of bullshit. So if you think you have what it takes to be on the show, here are a few things we think a true Bad Girl should have:

1. Daddy Issues: Or Issues in general. Because we have come to learn, the more emotional baggage you have, the better.

2. Alcoholism: Have you ever had an intervention from friends? Woken up on sidewalk? Got a DUI? Got the shakes at work? Perfect.

3. Love a Good Girl Fight: If talking out your issues sounds like a good idea, this show isn't for you. They like you to fix your problems with your fist. Start practicing yanking weaves and throwing panini-makers now.

4. Most of Your Friends Are Dudes: For some reason, most ladies that join this show say things like, "Yeah, most of my friends are dudes." Girls that say shit like this are usually shady. There's a reason ladies don't want to be friends with you. So, of course when you get in a house with nothing but vaginas, shit goes down.

5. You Don't Have Huge Career Goals: Because let's be honest, once you're on this program, your fucked -- career wise. No employer is going to consider "boozing at noon" & "giving bitches black eyes" as strengths of character.

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.