On a recent episode of Chelsea Lately, Handler discussed the literary success of Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea. When one of her guests brought up the fact that Handler had topped the New York Times' Best-Seller list, the show's host quickly added, "Yeah, so did Snooki."
She's right, but Handler definitely doesn't deserve to be in the same category as that spray-tanned-train-wreck Snooki. Chelsea has talent.
In fact, there were a lot great Hollywood/non-Jersey Shore books out just this year alone. So in honor of the Miami Book Fair, check out these seven A-list books worthy of a home on your bookshelf or space on your kindle.
7. Kris Jenner... and All Things Kardashian, Kris Jenner
Ok, don't make fun of us for putting this book on our list. And don't say you've never watched an episode of this program. They haven't been on for six seasons and have three spinoff shows for nothing. Sure, KKK (Kim, Khloe & Kourtney) have their own book, but that shit's boring. Kris Jenner's stories have the real juice. Let's see, in 320 pages she touches on her friendship with Nicole Simpson, the infamous OJ trial, and the affair that broke up her marriage to Robert Kardashian. The book's pretty much only for the pop culture junkie looking to rot their brain worse than Keeping Up With The Kardashians. And we are one of those people.
6. Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), Mindy Kaling
If you've ever watched The Office, you know that Mindy Kaling is one of the funniest women on television. But with the current trend we are seeing in Hollywood, she won't get the credit she is due until much later in life. In the meantime, between seasons of the office and her inevitable Golden Globe, she decided to write a book. It's part comedy, part self-help, and all around funny. If you don't laugh out loud while reading it, see a doctor.
5. Seriously... I'm Kidding, Ellen DeGeneres
Saying that Ellen DeGeneres' book is going to be funny is like saying that unprotected sex with a random stranger isn't a great idea. Whether you've caught the woman on one of her many comedy specials, her own show, or hosting an award ceremony, the bitch is comical. We would like to personally thank her for bringing Nicki Minaj's mini-me to superstardom. This is Ellen's third book and maybe her best. We want to sum it up, but galaxi21's review on Amazon.com did it better than we ever could: "Reading this book is like traveling to some beautiful alternative universe where people are kind, love is everywhere, and life is good. It's a complete experience of another, nicer and more intelligent way to view the world."
4. The Dead Celebrity Cookbook, Frank DeCaro
Ok, so Frank DeCaro isn't technically a celebrity. But you might have listened to him on Sirius radio or seen him on The Daily Show. And this isn't just a cookbook, either. Each dead celebrity gets a short and hilarious bio, their birth and death years. Then he organizes them in a way only DeCaro could. Looking for your favorite talk show hosts? Check under talk chews. While some recipes are kind of ridiculous, most the celebrities were too. May we suggest Andy Warhol's Ghoulish Goulash or Bea Arthur's Good Morning Mushroom Tomato Toast.
3. Bossypants, Tina Fey
A part of us wants to write this and this only, "Tina Fey wrote it. What the f*** else do you want to know?" If you are one of those girls looking to kickass and take names in the Hollywood game (yes, that rhymed), stop reading this and go buy this book. Before she was the baddest bitch at NBC, she says that she "was just a young girl with a dream: a recurring stress dream that I was being chased through a local airport by my middle-school gym teacher. I also had a dream that one day I would be a comedian on TV." So, it's safe to say that dream definitely came true. Ms. Fey, you're our hero.
2. Stories I Only Tell My Friends: An Autobiography, Rob Lowe
Seriously, how hot is Rob Lowe? He was hot in the '80s and he's hot now. But let us get back to the point of why we chose his book. If you know him from the Brat Pack, The Outsiders, or even Parks & Recreation, Lowe hasn't really gone anywhere since he started in 1979. And if you have wondered what he has been doing all these years on and off screen, this book sums it up. In Stories I Only Tell My Friends you find Charlie Sheen, Sean Penn, Chris Farley, and a little about those infamous sex tapes. So yeah, it's a good one.
1. Happy Accidents, Jane Lynch
Many reading this will see the name Jane Lynch and think, "Oh yeah, that woman from Glee!" And that makes us, well, want to slap you Naomi Campbell style. She, like many other woman on our list, hit superstardom at a later age. But, if you have ever seen Best In Show, 40-Year-Old Virgin, Talladega Nights, Smiley Face or Role Models, you know exactly who she is. Yet, it took Glee to get her name to be a household one. Thank you, Fox.
The book is a weird one. At one point you are hysterically laughing, especially about her times growing up in Chicago. And then just a few chapters later, you are wanting to hug her when she speaks of her alcoholism (she stopped in '91) or her realizing she was gay at a young age. While we definitely suggest you read it, it will make you realize you really never know what life will bring. Let us explain: Want to know how she got the gig hosting the Emmys? She happened to be on the same flight as Emmy producer Mark Burnett. And after a few minutes of chatting, he knew she had to do it.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.