| Lists |

Five Freaky Republican Presidential Candidates' Doppelgängers

Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

The nationwide comedy tour known as the Republican presidential race is in Florida this week. Over several months, rich candidates have perfected the game of politics in their quest for the Republican Party's nomination and the chance to go up against President Barack Obama in November.

Promising horseshit disguised as budget cuts, job creation, national security, and the like, the remaining field of GOP presidential hopefuls has done little to wow audiences -- Rick Scott won't endorse anyone, Gingrich is banking on Jesus, and Obama is up 62-29 against Romney.

At least there's 2016. Right, Republicans?

But what about when this race is over? We've grown pretty attached to this quirky bunch of guys campaigning to be the next POTUS. Who'll make us laugh and cringe?

Well, there are always the Republican candidates' celebrity doppelgängers to make us smile.

5. Rick Santorum and Joel Olsteen

Based on wavy hair and an intense look of sexual repression, Olsteen and Santorum are interchangeable.

4. Newt Gingrich and Wade Phillips

In addition to looking like one another -- sweaty, curmudgeonly -- both men share a similar backstory. Gingrich resigned as speaker of the House after failing to remove President Clinton from office, and the Dallas Cowboys fired Phillips after the Packers beat them 45-7.

3. Ron Paul and Sir Ian McKellen

Aside from eye color, these two are twins four years removed.

2. Mitt Romney and Guy Smiley

We'd rather have America's favorite game show host in the White House instead of Mitt Romney.

1. Herman Cain and Cleveland Brown

Even though he's no longer in the race, he's in our hearts.

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.