. Dude could probably whoop your ass, most certainly bench-presses more than you, and is undeniably a better hockey player.
The 68-year-old Massachusetts senator rocked two black eyes and a broken nose to the State of the Union address this week, the result of a recent pick-up hockey game. Despite the shiners, we hear Kerry scored three goals and lead his team to victory.
The senator's injuries are the latest in a long history of Washington bumps and bruises. From Presidents to Secretaries of State, check out our list of D.C. wipeouts below.
5. Gerald Ford
President Ford became commander and chief the way several of his predecessors never did, via the vice presidency. Dude was clearly not cut out for the big leagues--poor guy didn't even think of using the handrails.
4. George H. W. Bush
Despite the fact Papa Bush kept a baseball glove in his desk drawer, the All-American was not a master sportsman. Who gets hurt bowling, seriously?
3. Hillary Clinton
As Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton racks up mad frequent flyer points. Evidently, they're not enough to learn the layout of a jumbo jet.
2. Michelle Obama
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First Lady Michelle Obama's a tall woman -- much taller, in fact, than the door of Air Force One.
1. President Obama
The Secret Service couldn't protect the President from bumping his head on Marine One. At least it wasn't the propeller.