Nothing in Miami is what it seems. Not the tans. Not the boobs. And soon, not the dogs.
This summer, Florida's ban on dying animals -- as in, coloring the fur of living animals, not just a ban on, like, fluffy bunnies with terminal cancer -- will be lifted. And extreme dog grooming, the nation's most flamboyant and terrifying grooming subculture -- a niche far more dark and sinister than even Groomer Has It -- will finally be free to invade Miami, which is already arguably the country's vainest city.
The results will be surely be spectacular. And sad. So very sad.
So prepare yourself for the influx of rainbow-hued perros coming soon to a dog park near you. The photos beyond the jump may give you nightmares tonight, but trust us -- it's time to toughen up. You'll thank us in a couple months when a standard poodle-sized unicorn trots down Lincoln Road and you barely bat an eye.