Oh, Miami in mid June! We raise our fists against you! Why does the air feel like a moist armpit? And where have all the weekend events gone? We squeezed and squeezed the calendar this week, and the following eight events dripped out. Our top pick is the Art and Culture Center of Hollywood on Saturday, when three awesome motion-based exhibits open. Perhaps it will quiet your urge to flee the stale air of Miami in the summer.
But honestly, there's really no excuse for this event void -- it's not like this is the '20s and there's no a.c. Event planners, crank down the thermostat, mildly entertain us, and ply us with cold brew. It may not be high tourist season anymore, but there are still 2.5 million sweaty folks looking for fun stuff to do.
- At Big Night in Little Haiti, listen to bands Ayabonmbe and Magnum Band, enjoy creole art, and feast on Haitian food.
- Former senator and governor Bob Graham tried his hand at fiction, except the made-up stories are filled with the real-life politics of his tenure.
- Miami's Gay Men's Chorus pays homages to 50 years of boy bands (and yes, that includes N'Sync) with their Let's Hear It for the Boys! performance at the Colony Theatre.
- Salsa will fill the James L. Knight Center on Saturday thanks to salsa stalwarts Ruben Blades and Gilberto Santa Rosa.
- A few weekends ago, we thought we were listening to a Miami-edition of NPR's The Moth series on WLRN. Turns out it was Lip Service, a true story reading staged at the Actor Playhouse. Come hear 305 stories that will make you both proud and ashamed of our city.
- The Art and Culture Center of Hollywood opens three must-see exhibits on Saturday. Ed Templeton, former pro skateboarder and current art photographer, opens "The Seconds Pass." In "Fast Forward," Ryan Humphrey mixes BMXs and Duchamp. And surf photographer Michael O'Brien presents 20 years of snapping swells in "Impact Zone."
- Trick dad into visiting a botanical garden with Fairchild's Father's Day BBQ Brunch. Lure him in with the promise of grits and beer.
- Wilton Manors has become the de facto LGBT epicenter in South Florida so expect this hood to have a kicking Stonewall Street Festival and Parade on Sunday. It's been 42 years since the community fought oppressive police brutality on NYC's Christopher Street.
Ongoing events include: SNL's Jay Pharoah at Miami Improv, the library's zine exhibit and Summer Shorts at the Arsht Center.
Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami