Down, Dirty, and Nastie

Sick of spilling cheese at the strip club? We have something better for you. Allow us to paint you a visual picture of the sights, sounds, and smells you are certain to behold when Nastie’s Female Wrestling returns tonight to Studio A. Scantily clad women will be rolling around in baby oil, pulling each other’s hair, and eventually ripping off each other’s bikinis. The oil will glisten off of their smooth skin, as testosterone-fueled onlookers chant things like “Fuck her up!” Good stuff.

The two contestants will be naked and kicking as the drooling crowd moves closer to the custom-designed wrestling ring. How do the brawls usually end during Nastie’s events? Video footage from a previous match featured a brunette putting a blonde in a head lock. Then the blonde broke free, rolled over, and sat bare-bottomed on top of her opponent. She fondled her pierced nipples as the referee counted to three. All of this awaits you. But wait -- there’s more! Otto Von Schirach, Stoma, Mad Martigan, and Crack Whore Sweethearts will be rocking out onstage. The whole shebang will be hosted by the Notorious Nastie, and the raunchy, naughty fun begins at 9.
Mon., Feb. 25, 9 p.m., 2008
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Jason Handelsman