Down and Derby

When we heard Miami was finally getting its own roller derby league, we breathed a sigh of relief. No more expensive gas bills. No more road trips to Broward. No more searching for a rink among strip malls in the middle of nowhere. Finally, this town has a derby to call its own. The Vice City Rollers will represent the 305 with their first-ever game this month. There is some bad news, however. That very first game? It’s in Bradenton, four hours away, and it’s not till next week. That’s way too far away, even for our dedicated, derby-loving souls. But before you go all She-Hulk and start throwing elbows (we’re told derby girls are prone to such behavior), take heart: The girls will pregame their debut with Bling & Sing Saturday at Tuna’s Raw Bar & Grille, and you’re invited. Expect debauchery typical of the roller derby set; the ladies of Vice City have promised Jell-O shots galore, as well as the chance to belt out your favorite karaoke tunes with them. Between rounds of “Baby Got Back” and “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” you’ll have the chance to support the team by snacking on tasty treats from the on-site bake sale or by bidding on items in a silent auction. It’ll be a hell of a lot more fun than the long haul to the Gulf Coast.
Sat., Feb. 4, 8 p.m., 2012