"Deep Throat." "Donnie Brasco." "The Worm."
Yeah, you read that correctly. Dennis Rodman, the retired basketball player and cringeworthy fashion plate with poor copyediting skills, can add another bizarre descriptor to his resume: FBI informant. The feds got interested in Rodman after his highly publicized trip to North Korea, he told the Miami Herald.
"I have been contacted by the FBI and I met with them. They wanted to know what went on and who's really in charge in North Korea," Rodman boasted to Herald reporter Lesley Abravanel during Saturday's annual gala hosted by the Blacks, Lea and Roy, of Real Housewives of Miami fame. Rodman added that he's been invited to return to the country in August, and hopes he'll be allowed to do so.
Is it because he misses his bestie Kim Jong-un? Nope -- according to Rodman, it's simply because he doesn't want to get blown up.
"I'm not a total idiot. I know what Kim Jong-un is threatening to do regarding his military muscle. I hope it doesn't happen because America will take whatever actions to protect America and our allies."
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Miami New Times's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Miami's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
So how does he plan to help? "I do think, umm, you know, that we have to talk to people who want to cause us harm so hopefully they won't. I've been talking to folks for years who don't get what I'm about but that's cool, 'cause once they walk away they like me. I might be able to keep folks' heads cool. We all going to find a way to get along and keep peace. Peace and love is where it is at, Lesley."
With eloquent public speaking skills like those, we don't see how he could fail.
Follow Ciara LaVelle on Twitter @ciaralavelle.