Film & TV

Dallas Mavericks Botch "Top Ten List" on Late Show with David Letterman (Video)

Having the Dallas Mavericks win the NBA Title probably seemed like a good idea for the rest of the country, at least for a couple of days. Heck, Dirk Nowitzki even became a household name, kind of. But the truth is, when the Miami Heat lost on Sunday, America was the biggest loser. That became painfully clear last night when the entire Mavericks team bumbled its way through announcing the "Top Ten Good Thing about Winning an NBA Championship" list on the Late Show with David Letterman.

Sour grapes? Maybe. Just more Miami arrogance? Could be. But the irrefutable truth is that the Mavs botched almost every single line. And this in their unofficial unveiling to the rest of the country. It was so embarrassing that all of Miami who watched the list couldn't help but be mortified for the Mavericks. And we've been dying for them to embarrass themselves. We hope you're happy America. Make the jump to watch some of the video, if you dare:

Not a single player, or the coach, or King Douche Owner Mark Cuban, had

anything resembling a modicum of screen presence. We know they're

athletes, not actors, but still. It was so painful to watch that if we

had the choice we'd rather watch LeBron's fourth quarter disappearing

acts on a loop rather than have to endure the list again. It gave viewers the

strange sensation of watching former high school virgins talk about

their first time to friends. But without any funny.

The list

itself was pretty lame, but the delivery is what really sunk it. We're not sure any of the Mavs actually know how to speak English,

including the American born players (and this coming from a Miami blog).

Maybe the scariest thing coming from the whole thing is that Shawn

Marion is rumored to be working on a reality show. Somebody in Hollywood

just shat themselves after watching him start the list of with a dud.


nobody was any better. Jason "Jet" Terry acted just like the turd you

thought he is with his bit about being able to ask for a raise. And with

all the air time Cuban gets we still can't understand why he looked

like he had never seen a camera. He did have his trademark shit-eating


Sure, much of the country will have missed this gem or somehow missed this post, but at least we know when we do win the title

next year, and the year after that, and after that, we'll be cool about

it. Not like you Dallas. But you were never cool to begin with.

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Sebastian del Mármol