Ann and Debbie: It can't possibly be their fault, so don't blame the stars. In fact give Lucie Arnaz and Elizabeth Ashley two points for doing everything humanly possible to try making this dud about an odd couple of widows actually work. All their glamour, presence, acting and overacting, terrific timing, gorgeous legs, and distinctive voices (together with wishing, hoping, and praying, for all I know) still can't make Lionel Goldstein's slight, vulgar, mindless little skit pass for a real play. Harmless schlock just ain't what it used to be. -- Octavio Roca Through April 10. Coconut Grove Playhouse, 3500 Main Hwy., Miami; 305-442-4000.
The Diaries: This mess of a play begins with the suggestion of something much better. A young American scholar is about to give a talk on campus on the subject of his Nazi grandfather's diaries, controversial documents that may be either a monster's apology or the candid testimony of a moralist caught in unspeakably immoral times. This is promising stuff. And a great play might be written on these themes. John Strand's silly affair, directed by Rafael de Acha, is not it. -- Octavio Roca Through April 3. The New Theatre, 4120 Laguna St., Coral Gables; 305-443-5909.
Stones in His Pockets: Marie Jones's play centers on a small Irish town in picturesque County Kerry which is invaded by a major Hollywood film production. This clash of movie types and locals offers a colorful array of characters, all played by two resourceful Irish actors, George C. Heslin and Declan Mooney. The two-man concept has theatrical appeal but there are costs -- Michael Hall's production is quick and deft but some of the characters are mere caricatures, and much of the play's emotional texture is missing. -- Ronald Mangravite Through April 3. Caldwell Theatre Company, 7873 N Federal Hwy., Boca Raton; 561-241-7432.