Poor Chris Brown. He's had a rough couple weeks.
Ever since he jumped back into the national spotlight with his Grammy performance, everybody's out to get him. Critics panned his show. Feminists and other sane individuals were horrified at some girls' tweets about it. Birds attacked his face. Then the whole world got all up in his business about his collaboration with Rihanna, and his attendance at her spliff-tastic birthday party.
It's enough to make a guy lose his shit and steal a cellphone.
Clearly, the man needs an image makeover. And as they say on Intervention, the nice thing about rock bottom is that there's nowhere to go but up. So we put together a few suggestions for Brown's personal re-branding, based on past celebrities' tactics. We're not saying they're all winners. But they're a hell of a lot better than what the guy's doing now.