Chatty Kathy

There are a lot of things we’d like to ask Kathy Griffin. What part of your body hasn’t been professionally assessed by a plastic surgeon? What really happened to your first assistant, Jessica? Who’s better in bed: Jack Black, Steve Wozniak, or the Old Spice Guy? But we can’t, because every time this fiery ginger-crotch with a sailor’s mouth comes to town, she shoots down all of our requests for an interview. Why, Kathy, why?! For someone who’s such a media whore — or, let’s be honest, an all-around whore (really, Kathy, 50 and Not Pregnant? You’d better be praying to the gods of menopause for their good graces) — you sure like to stray away from the one paper in Miami that actually appreciates your raunchy, gossipy, and tell-it-how-it-is sense of humor. But whatevs, it’s not like we’re going to blow $49 to $79 on a ticket to see your supertoned ass at the Arsht Center’s Knight Concert Hall Monday. We’ll just sneak in with a box of wine, get drunk, and then yell/ask our questions from the nosebleed seats during your act. See you Monday, bitch.
Mon., March 28, 8 p.m., 2011
KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Elyse Wanshel
Contact: Elyse Wanshel

Latest Stories