' Evelyn Lozada hoped to kick off a fairy tale romance when she married Dolphins wide receiver Chad Johnson yesterday, this morning probably served as a rude awakening.
Johnson, who's known as much for his frequent Twitter posts as for his skills on the football field these days, naturally tweeted to his followers before, during, and after the ceremony.
And in the beginning, sure, it was kinda cute. Or at least as cute as posting social media updates to strangers during one of the most important and intimate events in your life can be.
But as the night wore on, Ochocinco got, well, a little catty.
At first, Johnson was feeling the groom-to-be jitters.
What can we say? The whole "tough guy has feelings" thing gets us every time. And until Evelyn appeared, #85 continued freaking out.
...in typical self-admiring fashion, of course.
After the couple tied the knot, however, Johnson's attitude switched from anxiety to annoyance.
Helpful hint, Chad: The traditional thing to say about your new wife's appearance at your wedding is that she looks beautiful.
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Of course, you could also go the "my new wife is hammered" route:
Small issue? Perhaps. But not so small that he wasn't still complaining about it this morning.
Enjoy the honeymoon, you crazy kids!