Hating the Miami Heat: It's been done. It's, like, so last season. And it involves aligning yourself with Skip Bayless.
Hating Miami Heat fans, on the other hand, is still considered fair game in areas of the country without the greatest basketball team on the planet. For proof, you need look no further than BuzzFeed, which published a blog post yesterday titled "Do Heat Fans Get A Bad Rap, Or Are They Even Worse Than We Think?"
Spoiler: The answer is "Heat fans are so awful, amirite LOL OMG wordvomit."
Pointless listicles like these are what BuzzFeed thrives on, and ordinarily we'd pay them no mind. But this particular post, published just before the Heat moved on to the Finals and containing arbitrary judgments of fans' flamboyant costumes, is particularly low. Clearly, Heat fans have plenty to be excited about. Clearly, the passion of supporters and haters alike is at its highest point since, well, this happened.
And clearly, BuzzFeed's aim is to capitalize on this by trolling fans and gratifying the jerks who just wish they were fans.
So it's up to New Times to stick up for the "awful" fans pointed out at the post. Step off, BuzzFeed. This train ain't stopping for no wishy-washy listicle, no matter whether we're "on watch" or not.
LeBron's not the only basketball royalty on this team. Remember the "three kings"? #3's one of them.
Even forever-stoned RiRi knows Miami is the best. Why don't you?
If that's your idea of "designer jeans," you are clearly not from Miami.
You can't blame us for the fist-pumping. That shit was imported from the Jersey Shore.
Wait, so we're a bunch of bandwagoneers who don't support our team, but we also show up, spend money, and, uh, support our team? Get your story straight, BuzzFeed.
Europeans don't count. Too easy. Moving on.
Look at that, you just answered your own question.
Okay, we'll give you that one. People in Miami can't drive for shit ... unless they're driving to the basket! Hey-oh!
Don't treat Filomena Tobias like that. You wouldn't like her when she's angry.
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Every other photo in this series seems to have been taken at a Heat game too. Looks pretty crowded, right?
Verdict: BuzzFeed's animals editor is cool, but this Logan Rhoades guy is on watch.
Follow Ciara LaVelle on Twitter @ciaralavelle.