Why hand lotion? Because you'll be forwarding this post to all your like-minded adult pals, and all that clicking might make your fingers get blisters. Why? What were you thinking, you perv!? Exxxotica Miami Beach has become queen bee among Miami Beach's many debauch events. It's the only time of year when you can stop pretending you don't know the names of adult actresses like Priya Rai, Gina Lynn, and Savanna Samson. They'll all be there along with this cast of porn all stars.

Exxxotica announced that it would be taking over the Miami Beach Convention Center from May 20 to May 22, for three days of lewd and lascivious behavior that is not only legal but encouraged. Read on for more highlights.

We got to give it to Exxxotica's organizers. They might deal in the skin

trade, but at least they're doing so equitably. There's plenty of

events for the ladies, including the Men of Adonis revue, Miami's

Hottest Frat Dude contest, and several appearances by legendary dongsmen

Ron Jeremy (okay, so maybe that's not so much of a treat).

Additionally, women get in free to the convention on Friday.

But let's not kid ourselves. When we think Exxxotica we are thinking

T&A, and we don't mean testicles and arm pits. Porn stars will be

everywhere, but there will also be some "legitimate" acts like local

girl Sofia Luna's Burlesque performance and Rubberdolls Fetish and Kink

performance. And don't' forget the Miss Exxxotica competition that pays a

cool grand, plus the honor of coming back the following year signing

autographs and having hordes or horndogs drool over you.

There's actually seminars at the conference. The schedule is still being

set but already confirmed are such highbrow talks as "The Ethical Slut

and Other Titillating Tales," "The Religious Wrong," "What Every Woman

Wants," and "Getting Into Adult - A to Z." Add to all that the usual

erotic exhibits, after parties, and other debauchery that is best left

to the imagination. Want to get a sense of what you'll see in May, check out last year's party.

Oh, and we almost forgot, 2 Live Crew, will be performing at this year's event. "Pop That Coochie" and "Me So Horny" indeed!

cost: $25 - $70. For more information visit www.eXXXoticaExpo.com.

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