The holidays in Miami are a rich tapestry of different spiritual practices, traditions, and opportunities to get wasted. Some Miamians are only here for a short time to visit family. Others are using this blissful break from work to catch up on gift purchases, or connect with friends from out of town, or meet their yearly quota of black-out drinking binges. However you choose to spend your Noche Buena, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or hedonistic holiday party marathon, make it out to the Support Local Market at the Wynwood Yard, Jingle Bell Rock at Churchill's Pub, and MatzoBall at Story. Go ahead and get all about that holiday spirit.
Support Local Market at the Wynwood Yard. Why lose your mind looking for last-minute gifts in a herd of other anxious mall shoppers? Instead, shop under the stars with a drink in hand at the Support Local Market, where local vendors abound with gifts from the small and casual to the well crafted and indulgent. Get fun and unique pop-up cards from Open Card Now, or give someone the gift of green with plants from the Little River Garden Box. The market will be open Thursday through Saturday, for every gradient of procrastination. 5 p.m. Friday, December 22, and 2 p.m. Saturday, December 23, at the Wynwood Yard, 56 NW 29th St., Miami; thewynwoodyard.com. Admission is free.
Lauren Henderson at Ball & Chain. Ball & Chain is often forgotten as a music venue despite the sheer volume of concerts the nightclub puts on. If you've gone all year without attending one, make it to the Lauren Henderson show Friday or Saturday. The chanteuse pulls from American jazz and Afro-Caribbean influences in music that straddles several genres. If you're hungry for more, you can also catch Palo! performing later Saturday night. 6 p.m. Friday, December 22, and Saturday at Ball & Chain, 1513 SW Eighth St., Miami; 305-643-7820; ballandchainmiami.com. Admission is free.
Kyle Grooms at The Comedy Inn. Preparing for the strain of forced family gathering can induce a wide variety of stress reactions depending on the family. But you can go ahead and give yourself the gift of stress relief with one of these evenings of stand up from Miami-based comedian Kyle Grooms. For two nights he'll be taping his comedy album at The Comedy Inn, so your laughter can be immortalized for years to come if you decide to show up. Bring your escapism to its full extent and stay the night after taking advantage of the full bar. 9:30 p.m. Friday, December 22, and Saturday, December 23, at the Comedy Inn, 14501 S. Dixie Hwy., Miami; 786-683-7999; comedyinn.com. Tickets cost $30 to $40 via eventbrite.com.
Jingle Bell Rock at Churchill's Pub. DJ Oski is back with another goody bag brimming with local music for the 11th-annual Jingle Bell Rock. Twenty-one bands across three stages would fill the night, but the festival will also celebrate Xotic Yeyo's latest album release, give away lotto tickets, and collect toys for children in need. Show up wearing your ugliest sweater and you could win $50. Think of it as a present from the local music gods. 8 p.m. Saturday, December 23, at Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami; 305-757-1807; churchillspub.com. Admission costs $10.
The Ten Tenors at the Adrienne Arsht Center. You don't need more corny holiday music in your life. But the Ten Tenors can't be cheesy, simply by virtue of their talent. They're capable of singing everything from opera to Mariah Carey, and you'll get exactly that range at their concert of seasonal songs. Coming all the way from Australia, the group has been touring in various incarnations since 1997, so the Ten Tenors must be getting something right. Catch them just before Christmas. 8 p.m. Friday, December 22, at the Adrienne Arsht Center, 1300 Biscayne Blvd., 305-949-6722; arshtcenter.org. Tickets cost $30 to $100.
Psychemagik at Floyd. It can be difficult to satisfy obscurity-fetishizing record collectors and dance-addicted club rats at the same time, but Psychemagik does both. Made up of U.K. natives Danny McLewin and Tom Coveney, the duo takes an almost spiritual approach to psychedelic mixes and edits. They'll kick off the weekend with a show that should take you places both physically and psychically, so maybe don't overdo it with the LSD beforehand. 10 p.m. Friday, December 22, at Floyd, 34 NE 11th St., Miami; 786-618-9447; floydmiami.com. Tickets cost $10 to $15.
Kwanzaa Celebration at the Little Haiti Cultural Complex. Plenty of us were introduced to Kwanzaa in school or heard about it in the laundry list of holiday inclusion, but its history and principles aren't as widely known as its more religious counterparts. This year, Delou Africa has organized a Kwanzaa Celebration that will not only present the seven principles of Kwanzaa, but also celebrate with drums, dancing, and an address by educator and youth advocate Emily Gunter. You can bring an offering of fruit, vegetables, or nuts for the unity table. 4 p.m. Saturday, December 23, at the Little Haiti Cultural Complex, 212 NE 59th Ter., Miami; delouafrica.org. Admission is free.
Yoli Mayor Holiday Concert at the Wynwood Yard. Cuban-American chanteuse Yoli Mayor told New Times she learned to sing before she learned to speak. That's probably how, two decades later, she found herself crooning to Heidi Klum and Howie Mandel on America's Got Talent. The Miami native's distinctive voice will bring holiday joy during a concert on the Wynwood Yard's Simple Vodka Stage. With Celia Cruz as one of her major influences, the singer-songwriter will offer the perfect soundtrack to a tropical holiday. 7 p.m. Saturday, December 23, at the Wynwood Yard, 56 NW 29th St., Miami; thewynwoodyard.com. Admission is free.
Remembering Rotilla at Manuel Artime Theater. The Rotilla Project, an electronic-music and hip-hop festival held in Cuba, drew a whopping 20,000 attendees in 1998. Then it was halted by the Cuban government — but that didn't kill it. Director and founder Michel Matos will relaunch the event at Miami's Manuel Artime Theater this week. Called Remembering Rotilla, it will introduce the Magic City to artists who participated in the Cuban festival, including those still living on the island and those in its diaspora. It's all about free expression and celebrating Cuban talents, so dale! 7 p.m. Saturday, December 23, at Manuel Artime Theater, 900 SW First St., Miami; festivalrotilla.com. Admission starts at $10.
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The Muppet Christmas Carol at Nite Owl Theater. Can anyone do Dickens better than Dickens? The Hensons can. The Muppet Christmas Carol was directed by Brian Henson in memory of his genius father Jim. With Michael Caine as Ebenezer Scrooge and the Great Gonzo as narrator, the film is a truly delightful spin on this classic tale. Spend Christmas Eve with your Muppet family (instead of or in addition to your actual family) at Nite Owl Theater. Nothing this season will give you the warm and fuzzies like this classic. Noon Sunday, December 24, at Nite Owl Theater, 3930 NE Second Ave., #201, Miami; niteowltheater.com. Tickets cost $10.
MatzoBall at Story Nightclub. What is a single, young Jewish person to do on Christmas Eve? Celebrate with other young happening Jews at the annual MatzoBall! Put your chopsticks down, grab your best dancing outfit, and get out to this megaparty. People have been finding love and dancing the night away at this self-described "epic one-night stand" for 31 years, so you know organizers know what they're doing. Tickets will sell out, so move swiftly. Let MatzoBall be your matchmaker. 9 p.m. Sunday, December 24, at Story, 136 Collins Ave., Miami; facebook.com/MatzoBallPage. Tickets start at $50.