If you have yet to get stuck behind a lost driver, gawk at a strangely dressed (and clearly loaded) art dealer, or stumble upon an art installation in progress, Basel hasn't touched you yet. Fortunately, you have the entire weekend to people-watch and sit in gridlock, but let's hope you'll also get a chance to enjoy the art that has flooded the city. After you've checked out Basel House at the RC Cola Plant and Antonia Wright's Control, make sure to blow off some steam at the Electric Pickle's annual Fuck Art Let's Dance party or the Wu-Tang Clan show.
Basel House at the RC Cola Plant. Don’t have the big bucks to make it to the Miami Beach Convention Center this week? Just look at the walls — they’re literally covered in art in Wynwood, and they’ve been that way since before the neighborhood had valet parking up and down Second Avenue. Basel House is taking this to the nth degree with a Mural Festival, which has invited more than 60 artists from all over the world to craft murals right before your very eyes. There will also be free music, craft vendors, and cocktails. Did we mention admission is free? Noon Friday, December 8, through Sunday, December 10, at the RC Cola Plant, 550 NW 24th St., Miami; baselhouse.com. Admission is free.
David LaChapelle at Taschen. The kitsch, glamor, and sometimes total weirdness of photographer David LaChapelle is mesmerizing. He shoots the most famous of the famous people. He has photographed Miley Cyrus posing as a nude butterfly Jesus. That kind of power, along with the shocking and beautiful nature of his work, made LaChapelle almost as well known as his subjects. He's released a new book in two volumes, Good News and Lost + Found, with Taschen and will appear at the company's Lincoln Road store this week to sign copies. The 500 photos include Hillary Clinton, Julian Assange, Tupac Shakur, and David Bowie. It's a cornucopia of pop goodness and a holiday must for your coolest and queerest pals. 6 to 10 p.m. Friday, December 8, at Taschen, 1111 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach; taschen.com. Admission is free with RSVP via taschen.com/rsvp68; the book costs $69.99.
YogaArt Basel at Pérez Art Museum Miami. Art Basel, even when done properly, can be misery. It's exhausting, and you drink too much. You will be dehydrated and overstimulated, and you might even end up grabbing strangers' asses after too many free bar visits — setting the stage for the future end of your art career. But YogaArt Basel at Pérez Art Museum Miami will help you come down from your art-and-substance-induced highs via Zen musical acts, healthy food and drinks, and a chill yoga class. It starts early, so be sure to either stay up late and drink a lot of water or take Friday night off. 9:30 a.m. Saturday, December 9, at Pérez Art Museum Miami, 1103 Biscayne Blvd., Miami; pamm.org. Admission costs $39.01.
Control at Spinello Projects. If you read New Times' description of Antonia Wright's latest work, your level of bravery could be determined by how eager you were to attend the performance yourself. As a performance artist, Wright has often put her own body at risk, but her most recent effort explores not only putting the audience in an unsettling space, but also questioning our formulations of safety and control. Performances from 10 a.m. to noon Saturday, December 9, at Spinello Projects, 7221 NW Second Ave., Miami; 786-271-4223; spinelloprojects.com. The work will be on view Tuesday, December 5, through Sunday, December 10. Admission is free. RSVP via email@example.com is required to attend the performance.
Rakastella at Virginia Key Beach Park. Senses feeling as dull as a Trump voter? Get thee to the house-music festival Rakastella, hosted by Innervisions and Life & Death. Two stages in Virginia Key Beach Park will offer soul-awakening performances. Nature will surround and inspire, as will environmental art. A vinyl pop-up shop will be a treat for your consumerist side. The stages will feature Ame, Axel Boman, Jennifer Cardini, and many others spinning beats to make your spirits soar. 2 p.m. Saturday, December 9, at Virginia Key Beach Park, 4020 Virginia Beach Dr., Miami; rakastella.com. Tickets cost $120.
Wu-Tang Clan at Mana Wynwood. Twenty-plus years later and still "Wu-Tang Clan Ain't Nuthing ta F' Wit." As in, do not even think about effing with Wu-Tang because these guys are still legit AF. The hip multimedia Miami festival III Points is bringing the '90s rap act to the Magic City as part of its Art Basel Concert Series at the massive warehouse Mana Wynwood. Expect the room to move with an enthusiastic crowd. The Staten Island rappers have gone on to do myriad other projects — like RZA making movies — but they maintain their superstardom through appearances such as this one. The only thing missing will be ODB, still resting in peace. 9 p.m. Saturday, December 9, at Mana Wynwood, 318 NW 23rd St., Miami; 305-573-0371; manawynwood.com. Tickets cost $35 to $95 via showclix.com.
ArTEA at Superfine! Miami is about to get a little gayer with ArTEA. For the second year, the LGBTQ soiree will offer cocktails, networking, and dancing in the back garden of the Superfine! art fair, located at the edge of Wynwood and midtown. A "tea dance" is an afternoon get-together where gay kids and elders can dance and have fun, all paired with affordable artwork. And to add to the appeal of this fun affair, ticket sales support Pridelines, a local safe haven for LGBTQ youth. 8 p.m. Saturday, December 9, at Superfine!, 56 NE 29th St., Miami; superfine.world/exhibit. Admission costs $22.09.
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F*ck Art Let's Dance at Electric Pickle. By the end of this week, you won't need to look at another piece of art for 11 months. But you might have some pent-up energy from suppressing your inner freak in gallery after quiet gallery. That's why F*ck Art Let's Dance is here to let you unleash your plebeian self on the Electric Pickle's dance floor. DJs include Osunlade, Eli Escobar, Tomas C, Will Renuart, Captain Ridiculous, and Masha. 10 p.m. Saturday, December 9, at the Electric Pickle, 2826 N. Miami Ave., Miami; 305-456-5613; electricpicklemiami.com. Tickets cost $20.
Breakfast in the Park With Daniel Joseph Martinez. You could stay home this Sunday. Or you could make the most of the last day of Miami Art Week by indulging in an artsy morning meal. Breakfast in the Park offers complimentary food and a special lecture by Los Angeles-based multidisciplinary artist Daniel Joseph Martinez. The event will also offer guided tours of the Frost Art Museum's sculpture park and exhibitions. 9:30 a.m. to noon Sunday, December 10, at Patricia & Phillip Frost Art Museum at FIU, 10975 SW 17th St., Miami; 305-348-2890. RSVP via frost.fiu.edu.
Promenade Auto Wynwood. Miami Art Week isn't just for highfalutin' types. It has spread its wings so wide that it encompasses the whole city and all of its interests. Three blocks in Wynwood this Sunday will be dedicated to Promenade Auto Wynwood, presenting regional "road art" with 66 automobiles on display. They will include vintage classics, art cars, and custom-built badass supercars — a block for each. Admission is free, but the VIP area will offer a lobster lunch for the crustacean-craving ballers who just can't leave that Basel culture behind. 10 a.m. Sunday, December 10, at 2202 NW First Ct., Miami; facebook.com/miamisupercarrooms. Tickets are free for general admission and cost $150 for a VIP lobster lunch and afternoon tea; visit eventbrite.com.