Haters will always claim that Miami has no culture. But try telling that to the wide range of arts organizations who are always looking for new talent in the Magic City. We're inundated with calls for submissions, audition notices, and other offers for cultured folks like yourselves here at Cultist. And before you even go there, we swear to god -- none of them are for porn.
Whether you're an artist, singer, video game champion, or merely a Jerry Springer reject, these opportunities could give you the platform for your talents you've been seeking.
Where: Art Center South Florida
What: The Juried Artist Residency Program is a three- to six-month residency at ArtCenter, which might be one of Miami's most highly visible art spaces thanks to its location at the middle of Lincoln Road. Get accepted, and you can rent studio space at low cost ($8.50 per square foot), and have access to career programs that connect you directly with critics and patrons.
How to apply: Complete the application at the website by Jan. 27.
Where: The Arsht Center
What: The New Gospel Talent Search seeks Miami's next top gospel artists (which is a reality tv show we would totally watch). Accepted singers will perform at the Knight Concert Hall alongside established gospel musicians.
How to apply: Auditions won't take place until early March, but prospective gospel stars must register in advance by emailing email@example.com or calling 786-468-2450.
Where: Bakehouse Art Complex
What: The 4 on 4 Art Competition, sponsored by California-based Jordan Winery, is challenging artists in four cities -- Miami, New York, L.A., and Dallas -- to create art that embodies their home (and if there's some wine involved, it probably couldn't hurt). Winners receive between $1,000 and $5,000, plus publicity and "commemorative gifts." (Our guess: also wine.)
How to apply: The deadline's not until late March, but you're gonna want to get inspired (read: drunk on Jordan wine) right away. Read the guidelines at the website.
Where: Play N Trade Video Games
What: It's a Call of Duty: MW3 Free for all Tournament. Got your attention there, didn't I, nerds? Finally, a chance to play for more than bragging rights against your kid brother. Prizes for winners include a 2012 Jeep Patriot, gaming accessories, and a trip to Oklahoma Invasion VII Airsoft Event. (We have no idea what that is, but we bet you do, Poindexter.)
How to apply: The tournament takes place Feb. 18 and entry is $15. Call 305-829-8000 to sign up.
Where: Miami, city-wide
What: Vh1 is casting for a reality show called Pregnant Mothers, Pregnant Daughters, and it's exactly what it sounds like: moms and daughters who are pregnant together. We could not make this up if we wanted to. If this is the life you're living, you might as well get on TV for it. Hell, we congratulate you on your incredibly fertile gene pool.