It's episode 15, which means we've been watching this show for over three months now. God help us.
We know most reality tv is staged. And we know that producers often edit footage to make things look more dramatic than they actually are. But after last night's episode, we're pretty convinced that the bulk of the drama on Basketball Wives is real.
Just watch the anger building up in every ounce of Evelyn Lozada's body. There's no faking that kind of pure, unbridled rage.
We pick up from last week with Jennifer Williams doing her best not to get hit in the face. This, of course, only makes Evelyn want to hit her even more. While Ev tells the group, "Her whole existence is a lie," Shaunie O'Neal follows Jenn back to her villa to instruct her to cut her bullshit. Yes, you are reading that correctly -- Shaunie actually got involved.
Any avid viewer of this program knows the former Mrs. Shaq avoids fights like the plague. But now, she needs Jenn to know that she needs to fire her manager and wire her mouth ASAP. Obviously, she has hit the wall on the madness. That makes two of us.
Shaunie also had some choice things to say about Jennifer's controversial tweeting -- namely, that she should delete her Twitter account. Anyone else notice while Shaunie is speaking to her about her social media addiction, Jennifer has her iPad, MacBook and iPhone all within arms reach? #Wow.
For awhile, we thought the ladies would just hate each other for awhile and then head back to Miami. Then Jennifer Williams emerges from her bungalow, and one can only assume something is about to hit the fan. She takes a seat at the only chair available, which is -- what else? -- the one next to Evelyn. I don't even think producers could have asked for a better awkward moment.
Jennifer and Evelyn proceed to work out their problems like two mature adults. Ahahahaha, just kidding, they're totally not doing that. As they bicker about the fact that Mrs. Williams loves to run her mouth to the press, a central theme seems to surface: vaginas. Jenn isn't worried about Evelyn's, but the feeling isn't mutual. Evelyn would like the world to know that Jennifer hates the use of condoms -- especially while visiting Las Vegas. What happens in Vegas, luckily didn't come back with her in the form of crabs.
While Evelyn might have brought the biggest gossip, we would say Jennifer officially gets the last laugh: "We all got skeletons. Your ass got a whole cemetery." Ohh, shit.
That same day, Jennifer packs up her belongings and head home. Then Kenya Bell follows suit. What is wrong with you bitches? You are on a free trip to Tahiti and you decide a few cross words make you want to head home? Get it together.
There was a touching moment (yawn) where Evelyn wrote notes to all the ladies about how much she loves them. At their farewell dinner, E by Evelyn makeup was given out, and we get confirmation that everyone hates Jennifer -- even Shaunie. And if Shaunie hates you, well, there is a good chance you're getting fired. We all know she is the HBIC on BBW.
Back in the 305, Tami Roman meets up with Royce Reed. At first, she was very excited to see her. But when Royce starts to explain that she feels that Tami is in the wrong, Ms. Roman decides that she can longer call her a BFF. It's Tami's way or the highway, people. At yet another group dinner, with what Shaunie calls "the core group," Tami informs the cast that two things are official in her life: 1. Fuck Royce, and 2. She is moving to Los Angeles. Well, are we invited to the goodbye party?
If you have been an avid fan of Basketball Wives, you know their season finales are usually the most dramatic of the year --especially the last five minutes. Remember Eric Williams throwing the drink in Jennifer's face last year? On Monday, we ended with Shaunie speaking to her preacher about how she might leave the show if things don't change. Is she wanting the program to be less chaos, more charity? Speaking of things we couldn't want to watch less....
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We can only hope all that is Wives steps up the goodness for the reunion next week. Ya hear us, Vh1?