Basketball Wives, Episode 1: What Happens in Vegas, Comes Back to Miami

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We are worried about Miami. We're not going to be like Khloe Kardashian and compare anything to the "R" word, but the Magic City has been through some trauma. First, we were violated by the Jersey Shore, then Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami, and then Bad Girls Club. And let's not forget our newest reality TV gem, Basketball Wives.

The second season of the show premiered last night, but frankly,

it has been so long since we saw the first season, we were starting to

forget it ever existed. The show centers on a bunch of basketball wives

(wives definitely not being used literally) who live in Miami. From

what we see, they like to shop, lunch, and have sex with athletes. So,

yes -- it's very much like an episode of the Kardashians. Let us break down the cast for you:

Shaunie O'Neal: Ex-wife of Shaq O'Neal. At least she was once a wife, but she has now moved on to greener pastures -- like living at the Gansevoort Miami Beach. And from what our sources tell us, she's shacked up with a man about half her senior. Get it, girl.
Evelyn Lozada: Ex-fiancé of Antoine Walker. Yep, never a wifey.
Jennifer Williams: She is the only one actually married to an NBA-er. She calls Eric Williams her boo.
Royce Reed: We're not really sure where she fits into the show. She used to be a professional dancer for the Orlando Magic and the Miami Heat. Now, she is doing what? This show, we guess.
Suzie Ketcham: Ex-girlfriend of Michael Olokwokandi. We respect her for being able to say that last night.
Tami Roman: We welcome a new lady to the club last night, Miss Tami. She is the ex-wife of Kenny Anderson. You might recognize her from The Real World: Los Angeles--if your memory goes back 17 years ago, which our sure as hell doesn't.
Gloria Govan: Only spoken about in passing by the "the fab five," but let us remind you: she was the bitch from the first season whose sister apparently banged Shaq. Yeah, she didn't show up to the reunion, but does decide to make a cameo in the last five seconds of last night's show.

A few highlights for us: the size of the ladies hoop earrings. They can't be serious, right? Chongas in Hialeah are in awe of them. Or when Tami reunites her ex-hubby with her kids after apparently a very long time--um, it was awkward to say the least and we hope nothing that sad ever happens again. But our biggest question is this: How much longer are we going to allow Jennifer to talk about how her and Eric are "on the rocks"? After an entire season of this, go to counseling, get a divorce, or just get a younger man. Do something other than talk about your hot-ass mess of a relationship for part two of this show, please.

After getting to know the ladies, this episode really centers on the fact that Suzie and Evelyn are no longer gal pals. It all starts when Al Reynolds, AKA Star Jones ex-piece, shows up and starts gossiping about shit he heard about when Evelyn and Suzie were in Vegas. In her words, "I guess what happens in Vegas, doesn't stay there." Does it ever?

Much like her released naked photos, she should know that juicy news will always surface.  Nonetheless, upon hearing what he had to say, she goes from glamour to ghetto in a matter of seconds. Shit really comes to blow when Shaunie tries to gather the ladies to lunch, and Evelyn pretty much tells Suzie she is out of the group. Or in the words of Royce, "Bitch boo bye." What does that mean? Anyone? All we know is that the episode ends with Suzie reconnecting with Gloria.

Where will this show go? We're not sure. It seems to be getting good, but we might be judging too fast. It's like an urban Sex and the City, but with a lot less money from what we have seen so far. Fans, you tell us, did you enjoy the first episode?

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


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