Film & TV

Bad Girls Club Miami, Episode 13: Punch and Nudie

Lea had quite a bit of confidence in last night's episode of Bad Girls Club. And let's be honest: It's legit. She wanted those four ladies to go home, told the ladies how much she wanted them out, and they did in fact leave ... coincidence? We think not. But we, along with Lea, wish all the hoochies would have stuck around. "I kind of miss the train wrecks." Us too. You should have planned this better, Lea. Without those crazy broads (and no TV or internet),  what else are you going to do? Well, we guess it leads to talking to yourself on the pier and breaking random Ikea furniture. So, so sad.

We have to love the game with all the drinking that leads to endless amounts of booze and lesbianism. First off, what is the name of this game? Second, Please notice it is bright day light outside when all of this alcoholism is going down.

Erica and Ashley are hanging out, which is the worst news ever. The only person that is worse to listen to is Gilbert Godfrey and that douche Fred from YouTube -- all four of them together would just bring razors to the wrist. But Christina and Lea hanging out is kinda great news. They are both, as they agree, psychos and are very entertaining so we encourage their friendship.

Let this be a lesson for parents want to take away TV and internet from their kids. Want to know why that is a bad idea? Because crazy shit like this show happens. These girls are ridcuiously bored and just fighting due to excessive boredom. Real Bad Girls would throw punches -- what are these broads doing? Throwing each others shit in the fountain? Wow. Again, can we all please just fight and get it over with? There are too many manatees in the bay are swimming around in your panties because of these bullshit fights. We wish Christina would reach for the bleach again so it would just stop.

The true stars of the entire series are the pool cleaners. One states, "In all my years of pool cleaning, never have I seen such dirty hos. I'm using the strongest cleaning agent ever." Wow, where have you been all season? Anyway you can clean the entire house and the ladies with that cleaner?

On our other Bad Girls posts, a lot of people have being telling us how fake all the ladies are. And we interview them, and they seem pretty great. But then while watching them, we wonder, are these bitches as fake as their nails and hair? Does Oxygen really want us to think that Kristen just called Morgan out of the blue and just got dinner for a good time? Doubtful.

But even if it was set up, we encourage "hood rat activity" AKA anything that happens on this show. In a way, seeing Morgan and Kristen coming back into the house reminds us of what it must be like to live in Mean Girls the movie. We do love that Morgan says, "majority rules." Did she fail second grade math? There are two of you and four of them. Her fucking up the house shows that bitter is spelled M-O-R-G-A-N.

Next week is reunion part one. Put your big girl panties on, bitches.

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Stacey Russell
Contact: Stacey Russell