We really had hoped to dislike America's Next Top Model. Pretty girls with waifish proportions prancing down runways and being scored on their looks? In theory, we're offended. In practice, we can't look away. Here's the thing: Top Model showed us that awkward girls with angular, almost grotesque features often make the best models. It turns out that cameras have a much more fluid sense of attractiveness than any Glamour cover - thank god.

And we say, if you're an ugly duckling, you should try out for Cycle 17 of America's Top Model when it casts in South Florida later this month. Why not cash in on awesome photos before your crows feet settle in? They're coming, young ones. We promise.

The only catch - besides the cutthroat insanity of a pile of ambitious

girls trying to look pretty and living in the same house - is putting up

with host Tyra Banks's incredibly patronizing armchair psychology. We accept

your smile with your eyes tip - we may even do this to strangers to

garner favor - but we refuse to accept any Banks advice on behavior and

personality.

Think you've got the look? Here are the basic requirements: you must be between the ages 18 to 27,

taller than 5'7",  have no prior modeling experience, and you must agree

not to run for public office during or after taping (a curious

request). Read all about it here.

Casting takes places on Saturday, February 19, from 9:00 am to 4:00 pm

at Nova Southeastern University (The Arena at the Don Taft University

Center, 3301 College Ave., Fort Lauderdale). Registration ends at 2 p.m.

and you must first email a casting director from this list. And please, if you make it to casting, please drop us a line and tell us all about it. Email cultist@miaminewtimes.com.

Before you start compiling your application, consider the mind games you will have to endure with this video montage of Top Models

crying by Miami artist Autumn Casey. I just feel so weird right now.

i just feel so weird right now from autumn casey on Vimeo.

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