Art Miami/CONTEXT 2013: The Ten Most Terrifying Works of Art (NSFW)

The big news at Art Miami and CONTEXT this year fell into two camps. Scornful street art aficionados have railed against the fairs' showing -- and this year, selling -- of works by the anonymous street artist Banksy ever since they first appeared at the event last year. Meanwhile, art lovers at the other end of the spectrum looked forward to mingling with supermodel Cindy Crawford amid diamond-dusted portraits of her by photographer Marco Glaviano.

But if you weren't too disgusted and/or dazzled by the big names at Art Miami/CONTEXT at last night's VIP preview, you were likely busy feeling a very different type of emotion: freaked right the fuck out.

See also: New Times Ultimate Art Basel 2013 Guide: All the Fairs, Parties, and More

In the interest of news, here are the two Banksy pieces, which look like, well, Banksy pieces:

And here are a few of Glaviano's shots of Cindy Crawford, which are sparkly and sexy and show a little (okay, a lot of) boob:

But when you try to sleep after roaming the stalls at Art Miami, you won't be having sweet, sensual dreams about supermodels. You'll be having nightmares, courtesy of artwork like this:

10. Foundling by Patricia Piccnini

Alien fetus? A baby Falcor? The tragic fate of that baby from Dinosaurs? Whatever it is, it's made with real human hair. No way, kid. I am not the mama.

9. The Selfish Gene by Marc Quinn

There's nothing to remind you of your futile sex life like a painted bronze statue of two skeletons fucking. We're all gonna die! Art!

8. Submission II by Peter Shandin

Here's some good, old fashioned scary movie fodder for ya: a naked chick in a creepy mask, filtered through, I don't know, a Heineken bottle?

7. Paper sculptures by Li Hongbo

Mere marble statues? Only until you pick the thing up from the forehead and twist its face into oblivion.

6. Hiding in New York by Liu Bolin

Nothing to see here, just a regular ol' NYC mural OH MY GOD THERE'S A PERSON IN THERE.

5. New work by Enrique Gomez de Molina

Miami's own freaky taxidermy artist returned last night with large-scale works featuring moose and deer. The animal mash-ups he produces are fascinating (and also sometimes illegal). They also have eyes that will haunt your dreams, as in the photo above. (Also: Hi, Bernice Steinbaum!)

4. Lifelike sculpture by Marc Sijan

At first glance, this doesn't look like too scary a scene. Just a group of art people having a conversation as a security guard stands by.

But wait. That's no regular security guard.

That's an ultra-lifelike statue of a person. And he's not the only one:

3. Hooded scary man statues

Meanwhile, these faceless guys in black hoodies are waiting to assault you with toilet paper. Not long after we took this photo, we witnessed a grown man turn around, find himself face-to-non-face with the statue, and jump back with a high-pitched yelp.

2. I Want To Know What Infinity Is by Shen Shaomin

Again with the statues made with real human hair. Even on this poor woman's ladybusiness.

1. A Fleur de Peau by Margherita Marzotto

This, my friends, is an oversized rose made out of wax strips that were used to yank out a person's body hair. Shut it down, game over, I'm out.

Follow Ciara LaVelle on Twitter @ciaralavelle.