And Now, Deep Thoughts With Kat Stacks

A few years ago, Karrine Steffans, AKA "Superhead," took the hip-hop gossip world by storm when she published a memoir dishing dirt on claimed former flings such as Dr. Dre, DMX, P. Diddy, Ja Rule, and Shaquille O'Neal.

Now meet her heir apparent, Miami's own Kat Stacks -- a foulmouthed, bubble-cleavaged former Tootsie's stripper who in the past month has bombarded YouTube, Twitter, and her own 2-million-hit blog with uncorroborated claims she has performed coitus with virtually every Z-list rapper within a 50-mile radius.

Marco Rubio should broadcast 20-year-old Stacks's videos as irrefutable proof that Florida's school system is in dire need of an overhaul. Note her unique voice --  a combination of The Nanny's Fran Drescher and My Cousin Vinny's Marissa Tomei, with a side of a cat being skinned alive:

So what in hell is she even claiming? And what in hell does she want? The answer to the latter question, obviously, is a book deal (shudder). As for the first question:

• She has had sex with everybody in the 12-member Young Money Entertainment rap crew -- who, apparently, are some "dirty-ass-carpet-living-ass apartment" roommates whose only piece of furniture is a "long-ass peach motherfucking sofa." Which actually sounds kind of nice.

• When you sleep with rapper Gudda Gudda, "Make sure you claim the top bunk because Gudda Gudda pees on the bottom bunk." A phrase we can honestly say we've never written before.

• Lil Wayne paid her $1,200 for sex. Stacks has made publicizing rappers' phone numbers her trademark: She's read aloud digits belonging to Weezy, Nelly -- who ambushed Stacks on a radio show to deny he had ever been with her -- and some guy named Lil Twist, and hip-hop mogul Birdman's driver. The last one came with the instruction, "Harass that fat motherfucker."

The rappers haven't taken the abuse lying down -- Zing! -- responding on their Twitter accounts by posting details of her 2009 concealed firearm conviction in Broward County and, according to Stacks, reporting her to children's services:

Yes, Kat Stacks has a son-- who will one mortifying day Google his mom's name and "Gudda Gudda".

Riptide tried to interview Aventura resident Stacks but her manager, "Big Tone," first asked us for money and then demanded we email our questions. That seemed a bit much -- Who is she, Netanyahu? -- so we'll instead leave with the wise assessment of Miami vlogger Fury. Choice quote: "I don't care if you read Superhead's books, went to her signings, watched all of her porn videos, and touched her wig. Being a ho is nothing to be proud of. If you're going to do that shit, keep it to yourself."