Hey, lady friend, we’ve been going steady for five months now and Daddy thinks it’s about time we take that next step. It’s time to put on that red dress, those high heels, and that sweet perfume because you’re going to see Charlie Wilson and Johnny Gill at the James L. Knight Center. Hush up, baby. You don’t need to know that tickets are $55 to $85. Daddy’s gonna take care of everything. Your Mr. Telephone Man already called 800-745-3000 and visited ticketmaster.com, so you just worry about breaking off your best impersonation of Helen of Troy while Uncle Charlie and Johnny drop that sweet soul R&B bomb into your pretty little ear holes. Then afterward, Daddy’s going to take you to his house and show you things you’ve never seen before. Like this electric tie organizer. Cool, isn’t it? Got that in South Korea. You know where South Korea is? That’s right, far away from here. But look what’s right over there — a waterbed with Spider-Man sheets. Awwww, yeah.
Fri., June 12, 8 p.m., 2009