From our time in Miami, we've learned that if your place of business lasts more than six months, you're doing pretty well. And really, it's the same way in reality TV. If you last one season, well, you're doing better than most shows that come out of the 305. (Miami Social,
we are talking to you.)
And Basketball Wives, our favorite TV show set in our city, is now in its freaking third season. From what we hear, ratings have
never been better. Why? Well, it might have something to do with the
backdrop of lovely Miami. Or maybe it's because of the hot mess of a
cast. Here are 25 reasons we love Basketball Wives:
25. The name Basketball Wives: Honestly, it should be called "Basketball Ex-girlfriends" and/or "Basketball Baby Mamas." Literally, none of them are wives. Jennifer Williams and Shaunie O'Neal were at one time, but as for the other ladies, they weren't even close. But Shaunie made a good point when we interviewed her: How many of the "Real Housewives" ladies are actual wives? Not many.
24. Fights like this: Evelyn Lozada is ready to get rowdy at any moment and at any time. She's been like since season one. Remember this early throwdown?
Hood As Hell: Evelyn Of Basketball Wives by dredblack
23. Royce Reed and Her Fashion Sense: We hear that NBA dancers make good money. We hear that woman that own their own dance company make decent dough. Why is it that Royce chooses to dress like a tween headed to a Justin Bieber concert? Just last week she went to a Lamborghini showroom with a trucker hat, cut-off shorts and a belly-bearing tank. She needs to do one thing ASAP: Get a stylist.
22. They Love to Talk to Culitst: No, they really do. Literally, all of the ladies have spoken with us. What can we say? We are popular.
21. Their Oversized Earrings: Have you ever noticed how truly large their earrings are? They aren't just large; they are morbidly obese.
20. Lack of White People: Other than that one groupie, Sandra on season one, there has been very few white people on the series. And really, who cares? White people are usually pretty annoying. And you can always head to CMT for nothing but blanco.
19. Brawls in Posh Miami Bars: There is no better time or place to fight then a nice restaurant in Midtown Miami, right? See the bootleg video below.
18. Reunions Where They Let it All Hang Out: Most reality shows have reunions, but none do it like the Basketball Wives. They aren't afraid to clear up any misunderstanding, which usually results in verbal altercations, which we absolutely encourage. And they do it all in couture dresses and Louboutin heels. Does it get any better than that?
17. Fights like this: Speaking of fights at reunion, this clip where Suzie freaks out is exactly why we love this show. Have you ever seen this shit on Bravo? We think not.
16. Chose of Reunion Hosts: John Salley was a random choice for the season two reunion, we must say. But we did get this incredible quote from him: "A lot of you talk about being grown-ass women, but then do teenage women shit."
15. Quotes Like This: "It is what it is, b*tch. If I wanna f*ck, I can f*ck." - Evelyn Lozada talking she and Ochocinco's first date.
14. When Shaunie Loses Her Cool: Speaking of Shaunie, the woman keeps her shit together 99% of the time. Until Gloria Govan, fiancé to Lakers Matt Barnes, comes into play. Remember their lunch in Orlando where they almost got physically violent. Almost, just almost.
13. Quotes Like This: "I appreciate you all for putting your business out there like that."-- Shaunie to Gloria after the infamous Orlando lunch, which all related to Gloria's failed wedding attempt.
12. Truly Classy Tattoos: Evelyn's entire back is covered in butterflies that look like their flying in a grassy meadow. And then Tammy has this terrific piece:
11. Baby Daddy Drama: Yes, a few of these ladies have baby daddy drama. (Well, technically Jennifer is the only one who doesn't.) Who takes the cake? That would be Miss Royce. Girl is getting sued for millions by her Orlando Magic playing ex, Dwight Howard. And let's not forget where Shaunie gets her last name... Shaq, anyone?
10. Naked Photos: Oh yes, like any good members of a reality show, these ladies have had naked photos come out. For Basketball Wives, it has been Jennifer and Evelyn. The ladies who lunch together, tweet XXX pics together, we guess?
9. Quotes Like This: "You're only relevant 'cause I'm talking to you bitch!" --Tami Roman to Meeka Claxton during their fight at Polo World Cup
8. The Setting: Miami, of course. Even though most of them don't live here, most reside on the East coast, they chose Miami to film. Why? Because it's awesome, duh.
7. Quotes like this: "I don't give a f*ck if you buy every shoe in Dulce, you ain't never gonna be Evelyn!" Another truly hysterical quote from Tami Roman to Meeka Claxton during their Polo fight
6. Fights Like This: There isn't a better time or place to fight then one of your girlfriends birthday parties. Below, Tami brawls with Evelyn at Jen's birthday dinner at Devito's.
5. Tami's Ever Changing Hair: Let us reference the video above. In one scene she has a casual bob then in the interview she has glorious black locks. Girl, who are you trying to fool?
4. Suzie "Quiet" Ketcham: Suzie was once the girl who was willing to throw a drink and a fist at any moment. Now, she is a lot like that girl you cheated off in class in middle school. You were probably friends with her, she was nice, but really, in the words of Evelyn, she is a "none mother f***ing factor." Suzie doesn't raise her voice, get involved in drama and does her best just to get some camera time. No, we really don't know what she is doing there.
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3. Fights Like This: One thing we miss about season one, is the groupie vs. wives fight. We aren't sure why this battle ever stopped, but we will do what we can to bring it back. Especially, for fights like this between all the girls and Sandra "the groupie." Remember when Suzie was ready to get loud? See the video clip here.
2. Insult T-Shirts: Not only do the women fight, they make T-shirts to sell in their online shop, referencing any mean insults they might have hurled in the heat of the moment.
1. Anything and Everything: While the 24 things listed above are the reasons we love this show, every single episode is why keep coming back. Thank you, wives. And especially, thank you Vh1 for keeping this mess a float.