Top Six Worst Gifts For Home Cooks and Chefs This Holiday Season
Ah, the holiday season. The perfect time to pick terrible gifts for people whose passions you don't understand. We're not saying these are bad products, they all look like perfectly reasonable chef gadgets, cooking tools, and kitchen ware. We're just saying these are the Top 6 worst gifts for home cooks, professional chefs, and amateur culinary artists. We know your bakers, gourmets, and foodies love kitchen gifts for their Christmas and Hanukkah presents, but trust us, don't get them these.
6. Onion Goggles
Can I get those in Aviator?
Nothin' tells your special cook to quit cryin' like, "Bitch put on those Onion Goggles and make me a damn sandwich."
5. Cherry Stoner
And one day maybe I'll make enough money to buy new pants.
Once the courtesy laugh wears off, your giftee will realize that you actually gave them a cherry stoner for Christmas and secretly hate you.
4. Gourmet Egg Cooker
Is it really that much fucking trouble to boil a pot of water?
3. Chocolate Spatula Thermometer
2. A tie between the Corn Butter Boat and Compact Bacon Rack
mmm butterboat bacon.
Sorry honey, we can't afford to send you to culinary school, but we got you this fancy microwave cookware.
And our number 1 worst food gift for home cooks, and professional chefs is:
1. Easy Release Grease Separator
No, it only looks like the cup is pissing diarrhea. Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukkah, Happy Holidays.