Top Five Weird and Perverse Cheese Sculptures

Today in Green Bay, Wisconsin, Sarah the Cheese Lady will present a monster cheddar cheese sculpture at Lambeau Field as a salute to the Super Bowl-winning Green Bay Packers and the United States National Cheese Championship.

Ahhh, cheese. Just the word makes you excited, doesn't it? Perhaps paired with some grapes or wine? Or maybe some gooey, melted cheese atop your favorite... well, anything really. Mmmmm. Cheese.

But there are those whose dedication goes above and beyond. Cheese sculptors take hundreds of pounds of cheese and turn it into something non-cheese-like. There have been cheddar Steve Jobses and Vince Lombardis, as well as cheesy motorcycles and Eiffel Towers. But why regale you with the most commonplace cheese sculptures? You're better than that. Below are some of the most interesting cheese sculptures of all time. Enjoy!

Always a good idea to fill up your bladder before a big race.
Always a good idea to fill up your bladder before a big race.
via Flickr TheatricAL 03

5. NASCAR Racer Dude
We're not exactly sure why anyone felt a need to commemorate this guy by creating an homage de fromage in his honor, but there's something weirdly sexual about this one. Sick. Cheese. Dude.

4. Creepy cheese babies
Again, not exactly sure what the inspiration was, but the result is, as you can see, just hideous. We're not saying the workmanship was bad -- it obviously took some skill to be able to turn a delightful piece of cheese into these two abominations, but God, are they ugly!

3. Hail to the Chief
Making a giant cheese statue of Abraham Lincoln is completely understandable. After all, he was a pretty cool dude. He abolished slavery and wore really stylish hats. Not to mention he had that hipster beard thing going on. So, Abe, here's to you. You're made of cheese!

Those who spawned the children.
Those who spawned the children.
via Flickr TheatricAL 03

2. Thank God they're only made of cheese
These two freaks must be the parents of those creepy-ass cheese kids. Of course, we know that cheese people don't actually procreate, but it's way worse to imagine the other scenario -- that they generate on their own!

via Flickr TheatricAL 03

1. Why?
We're beginning to see a theme here -- cheese children, heterosexual cheese couple, cheese food products... there must be a cheese house somewhere out there in a cheese city. Maybe cheesy Abraham Lincoln is the mayor of their cheese town! We don't care how insane we sound, but our theory is easier to believe than thinking there is someone, or someones, out there who actually spend time and money making this crap.

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