Top 10 Ways To Ruin a Thanksgiving Turkey
One time grandma's dentures got caught in the turkey drumstick she was eating at Thanksgiving dinner. She pointed at me with the drumstick for laughing, the teeth flew off the leg and hit me in the face. I still have the old lady's bite marks on my forehead. She had a hell of an arm. Thanksgiving is still my favorite holiday. Probably because funny disasters always happen. Don't let your turkey be one of them. Here's our top 10 ways to ruin a Thanksgiving turkey.
10. Forget to defrost it before cooking - Start off your day with a couple Bloody Marys and a some beers and it becomes an easy mistake to make. Cook a frozen turkey and you'll eat a frozen center. Remember to defrost your bird.
9. Improperly Deep Fry Your Turkey - Like crystal meth, deep fried turkey is delicious, but dangerous to make yourself and can lead to explosions. Don't fall victim to a deep fried turkey, or burn your house down trying to make one.
8. Overstuffing Your Turkey - This one is actually a health threat because an overstuffed turkey can mean undercooked stuffing or an overcooked bird. That can mean dangerous bacteria, cross contamination, and food sick guests from your dirty bird.
That's one overstuffed bird.
7. When you're tukey hunting, miss your kill shot - You can't cook your dinner if you can't kill it. Don't shoot the turkey while it struts, wait till it stops and looks up, give it a good cluck and it will. Aim for the point where the neck meets the breast, and remember that most shotguns shoot high.
Hungry to kill.
5. Trying to Smoke Your Own Turkey - Lighting a joint and putting it in a turkey's mouth doesn't make it a smoked turkey. Neither does taking the joint back and blowing the smoke all over the bird. Don't even get us started on why it's a bad idea to take cooked turkey shavings and roll a joint with them. Don't get into turkey smoking if it's the day before thanksgiving and you've never done it before.
4. Impatient Carving - You gotta let your turkey rest for about a half an hour before you start cutting it. Letting your turkey rest will allow the juices to soak into the meat. Impatient carving will ruin your turkey by giving it that dry quality most people hate.
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