This Sunday, February 7, football rules the airwaves when Super Bowl 44 beams out live from Miami, and millions of dollars worth of commercials for crap you don't need and foods that kill-slowly connive their way into your subconscious, wallet, and fridge.
The more things change, the more they stay the same. Here are our Top Ten Super Bowl commercials from the 1980s. This is a food blog so they're all food and drink related.
10. Jim McMahon and Refigerator Perry Do Coke, Classic
Super Bowl 1986 at the Superdome the Bears beat New England (46 - 10), and held them to -19 yards the first half. They smashed em'.
In the video above quarterback Jim McMahon and William "Refrigerator" Perry slam cokes at a diner. Back in '86 there was a difference between Coke and Coca Cola Classic. Check the cans. They look fake.
9. McDonald's new McDLT
Is that what McDonald burgers used to look like last century? Why did they used to wash their tomatoes so dramatically? How much did they spend on ripping heads of lettuce apart by hand in a perfect arc of spray? What the fuck is a McDLT anyway?
8. Budweiser in Space
The sad thing about this commercial is that 24 years ago it probably cost a couple of hundred thousand dollars to produce it, millions to air it, and nowadays a 10-year-old girl can remake it with better special effects and have it seen by a larger audience for free. Welcome to 2010 Bud Light.
7. Rainier Beer - A Brew Apart
Hahahaha, a guy in a beer suit running through nature. A beer commercial that starts with a raccoon closeup. A beer called Rainier. We'd like to see the beer meeting where this idea was the best they could come up with.
6. An entire commercial break from Super Bowl 1987
What if Super Bowl's fame for funny commercials was all just a bunch of hype. This actual commercial break from the 1987 Super Bowl says it is. Scrooge in a drive thru, and a Big Milk commercial don't cut mustard.
5. Budweiser Dog and Horses
4. Coors and Mark Harmon
3. McDonald's McDLT Fantasy
Fantasy Midevil past commercials usually leave out the rats, plague, death, scurvy, slaves, blood, muck, and filth.
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2 and 1. Cheese Glorious Cheese, because it's awesome
Because the song kicks ass. Seriously.