Throw the Milk and Cookies Out: What Santa Really Wants For Christmas
Ever wondered where the tradition of leaving milk and cookies for Santa comes from? Probably not, but out of mystical curiosity we searched and found that the theory dates back to Western Germany and was formed as part of a medieval custom. A "paradise" tree was decorated with apples, wafers, and/or cookies. When the tree merged with Christianity and became the Christmas tree, cookies and wafers stayed as part of the decoration. How 'bout them apples? Apparently Santa didn't like those, but he did seem to like the fattening stuff.
On Christmas morning, after children opened their gifts and actually took notice of the tree, they realized that the cookies had been snacked on, and attributed it to Santa (who else could have done this?). In reality the culprit here were mice, but no good parent was about to tell their newly excited and Santa believing munchkin the truth. In turn, children took this opportunity to get Santa on their good side and use food as a bribe for better presents, and so a tradition was born. Parents moved the cookies away from mice and off the tree closer to a safe place and on a plate where it was more hygienic for Santa to eat from. Homes that did not use wafers or cookies as edible decorations but heard the stories thought it would be quite the treat to leave out something for themselves while they did Santa's work. Eventually fewer and fewer people decorated the tree with food but wanted to keep up the tradition of leaving something for Saint Nick.
We're not really sure whether we believe this, but be it true or false, it's about time the old tradition gets a new twist. After all, Santa's a foodie. Have you seen that belly? So give Santa a break and cut him off a piece of that Kit-Kat bar and these other options instead.
Mud Slide & Oreos Santa has a long drive ahead of him, but he also has Rudolph and the rest of the pack doing all the driving, so he can afford to have some cold boozy fun while he visits hot Miami with a creamy mud slide. Extra on the everything please, but he'll need something solid with everything to avoid getting Santa schwasted. An Oreo will do the trick. Apparently it's the most popular cookie left out for Santa.
Special Brownies and Coke We don't condone the relationship between innocent gift-seeking children and Mary J, but, let's be real... road trips can get boring. Special brownies will make Santa's ride smooth starring and open up his appetite for all the homes he has to visit with less exciting options on their menu. Besides, it's the medicinal stuff. Helps Santa with his glaucoma, which we assume he has since he's been wearing glasses forever and can't seem to open his eyes much (maybe that's the brownies). And since he'll have cotton mouth he'll need something refreshing. We know Santa loves Coke since he's in all those commercials, just make sure it's the glass bottle and icy cold. He's from the North Pole, so you know Miami weather kicks him in the ass.
Baconator, Fries and Frosty Santa just had some special brownies, so he's really gonna want something greasy, something sweet, and something with bacon. Good thing Wendy's is better later. Besides, dipping fries in a frosty is about as naughty and nice as you can get.
Doubleshot Espresso After all those calories poor Nicky must be stuffed and falling asleep, so he'll need something to keep him up. Since Starbuck's isn't open late night and they don't have a chimney or balcony, their Doubleshot Espresso will be sure to do the trick and get him back to work so he can finish all his globe-trotting by mornings time.
Red Velvet Anything If you had some brownies too, you might realize that Santa actually looks like a giant red velvet cupcake. His suit is red velvet with white puffed icing. Maybe he's been trying to tell us all along that this is all he ever wanted, and how can we blame him? There's just something about red velvet that makes you feel good and jolly inside.
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