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The Ten Wackiest Food Vending Machines Ever: Mashed Potatoes, Live Crabs, and More (Videos)

Mashed poatoes from a machine....that's nothing.
Mashed poatoes from a machine....that's nothing.
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It must be a slow news week because instead of the upcoming Presidential election, Middle East strife, and needles in your airplane sandwich, ABC (and most every other news source) chose to focus on a truly bizarre story and an invention that could possibly save mankind.

The mashed potato vending machine.

To be honest, it's not just a mashed potato machine. It's a mashed potato and gravy vending machine! And it's real. Unfortunately, it's not yet available in the United States, so you'll have to tack about a thousand dollars in airfare onto your $1-a-cup price to get to Singapore where we hear mechanized mashed potatoes are all the rage.

We figured that mashed potatoes can't be the craziest thing ever stuffed into a machine -- and we were right. Here then is our list of the wackiest items to come out of a vending machine. It's sort of like HAL meets Chef Boyardee.



10. Mashed Potatoes and Gravy

When we heard that 7-Eleven had a mashed potatoes and gravy machine, we thought that the Thanksgiving fairy had finally answered our prayers. Just watch this puppy in action at a local convenience store in Singapore. We love the little gravy train -inspired happy ending.




9. Bananas

Here's a vending machine that we need to see more of -- like in every single elementary school, maybe? This machine doles out Dole...bananas!

Only the preferred fruit of monkeys everywhere comes out of this mechanical mom.
No chips, no cookies, no honey buns. Is that a banana in your robot or are you just happy to see me?

 



8. Farm Fresh Eggs

If you want to have eggs without the bother of going to the grocery, you have two choices: One - get a few hens. Two -- buy your eggs from this vending machine.


Added bonus -- no one will be able to trace the Halloween egging back to you.




7. Pizza
When was the last time you wished you could get a freshly baked pizza in under three minutes...at 3 a.m.....from a vending machine? If you said last night, you probably should lay off the drugs...or have this machine installed in your dorm or apartment.

 



6. Pasta and Sauce
We're not sure which is weirder - the machine itself -- or the fact that this Italian pasta machine was found in Germany. Mangia Fraulein!



5. Live Hairy Crabs
A train station in China sells live hairy crabs in a vending machine. The crabs come in your choice of male or female and sell for between $2-5 each. Who the f**k would buy live crabs from a machine? About 200 people per day. That's the amount of crabs sold, according to this video.

 



4. Cupcakes....from an ATM


Sprinkles bake shop in Los Angeles recently installed the world's first cupcake ATM. Just swipe your credit card, choose a flavor and get a cupcake. Sure to please stoners with a good FICO score.




3. Beer

We actually encountered a beer vending machine in, of all places, Chichen Itza, Mexico. Sadly, we did not make a video of the Corona we purchased. Luckily, however, this gentleman from Japan filmed his toddler making an automated beer run.


This is winning, my friends!


 



2. Bugs and Offal

Okay - it's really a promo video for Bizarre Foods , but wouldn't it be awesome if your office vending machine sold beef hearts, cockroaches, and coconut grubs instead of stale chips and Oreos?


 



1. Happiness

Our favorite vending machine is from Coca Cola. This specially rigged machine starts out by dispensing Cokes then moves on to flowers, pizzas, and balloon animals???? In a nutshell, this machine simply dispenses....happiness. Group hugs all around!


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