Short Order Moves to Cuba Until Food in Miami Improves
Sorry America, your food sucks.
We've been waiting to tell you for a while as we saved up enough money to buy a field in the mountains of Cuba, grow our own crops, kill our own animals, smoke pot, drink mojitos, ride bikes, go camping, and take pictures all day.
We'll move back here and rejoin society when you get your shit together.
For now, work on taking all the chemicals, additives, preservatives, hormones, plastic, tin foil, artificials, industrial food-type products, processed cheeses, unregulated, and otherwise craptastic garbage elements out of the shit we eat. Thanks.
Screw you! We're outta here, suckas.
Get the Food & Drink Newsletter
Our weekly guide to Miami dining includes food news and reviews, as well as dining events and interviews with chefs and restaurant owners.