Executive Chef Danny Grant Out at 50 Eggs
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Just how irrelevant has PETA become? The one-time-animal-rights-organization-turned-ludicrous-marketing-machine long ago gave up trying to reach people with reasoned arguments about the sanctity of all life or the wastefulness of our meat-happy culture. Instead they've adopted a fairly standard marketing strategy with which to convert confused meaties: 1) Create supposedly offensive advert designed to piss off octogenarian censors and bible-belters, 2) feign outrage when said moral authorities reject trite attempt at boundary-pushing, 3) revel in the media backlash that ensues. Well, I'll play ball PETA. Feast on the readers of Short Order!PETA's latest offering is a whole splash page devoted to their "banned" Super Bowl Ad -- a rock music-filled montage of strapping young ladies getting it on with vegetables. The nut of the ad is an xtreme text blurb that states the following: "studies show vegetarians have better sex." Apparently, NBC thought the imagery that coincided with that message was too sexually explicit, and thus rejected the ad. You can read the whole rejection letter here. Basically, NBC wants PETA to remove images like a woman "screwing herself with broccoli" and "asparagus on her lap appearing as if it is ready to be inserted into vagina." That's not asking too much, really. What NBC honestly missed are the two most egregious offenses committed by the ad: The first being that PETA submits no information with which to back up its dubious claim that vegetarians have better sex. The other? Well, the ad is just plain stupid. When did PETA get the idea that best way to get people to stop exploiting animals is to exploit women instead? Like some Buffalo wing-scarfing, Bud-swilling neophyte is going to see this commercial, toss his plate on the ground in excitement and exclaim, "Ya'll know wut? I'z gonna stop eating them thar chicken wangs because, doggonit, I deserve to fulfill mah Earthlee dee-sires as much as them Sex in the City gals do!" No. No, that's never going to happen. Instead PETA is going to get made fun of ad nauseum by everyone -- vegetarians included. Meanwhile, the brainchildren that run that sinking ship will perceive the incoming hits as a success, and in turn produce an ad featuring Mickey Rourke going down on a plate of mashed potatoes. Sends chills up your spine.
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