* Two-thirds of all adults and about one-third of all children and teenagers are "overweight or obese."
* Florida ranks 29th in the U.S., which is better than most Southern states. Southerners, it turns out, are the citizens most likely to eat like imbeciles: nine of ten states with the fattest folks are situated below the Mason-Dixon line.
* 26.1 percent of Floridians can be characterized as "obese" or "the sort of person you don't want to sit next to on a plane or bus or anywhere, really."
* Adult obesity increased in 16 states during the past year and rates soared to 30 percent or higher in 12 states: Alabama, Arkansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, and West Virginia. These solidly red states also boast some of the lowest IQ rates in the nation, which means Republicans really are
fat and stupid.
* Mississippi nabbed the top spot for highest adult obesity rate (34.4 percent) for the seventh year in a row. Alabama, Tennessee, and Oklahoma are getting fatter faster than any other states.
* 33 percent of adults who made less than $15,000 per year or did not graduate high school were found to be obese. Gee, I remember the good old days when poor people ate less than everyone else.
* Colorado, at 19.8 percent, had the lowest obesity rate and is the only state in the nation under 20 percent. Twenty years ago, not a single state had an obesity rate over 20 percent. We may note that medical marijuana is legal in Colorado, which sort of dampens the notion that pot-fueled munchies have anything to do with Americans turning into human tubs of lard.
* Black adults in Florida have a 38.8 percent obesity rate, compared with 24.1 percent of whites.
* Obesity contributes heart disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, and is even an indicator of poor birth outcomes: according to the Fetal and Infant Mortality Review
, obesity "was prevalent in 32 percent of infant deaths in Northeast Florida between 2005 to 2009." In other words, the only thing more dangerous for a Florida baby than having a mother who is obese is having a mother who is Casey Anthony.
We'll leave you to chew on this info -- but please, don't swallow.