meadowlandsparkinglot The Jabaconageburger with cheese, a cheeseburger topped with sausage and bacon and sandwiched between two Jamaican beef patties. Urg.
is all the rage these days. There are
to the obscene pleasures of voyeuristic foodie-ism, and they're growing
in number each day. Just this week, food writer and chef Anthony
Bourdain explored the subject on a special episode of his Travel Channel series No Reservations,
complete with over-the-top camera angles and plenty of double-entendre
about cream sauces and long, hard sausages. But the latest food porn
craze is a website that revels so desperately in absurd gluttony while
simultaneously mocking it that it's hard to look at it and not come
away with coronary blockage. It is, the aptly-named, This is Why You're Fat.
pic -- that disgusting concoction of Jamaican beef patties and
cheeseburger you see above -- is just the tip of the iceberg. Spend a
couple minutes on the site sampling such goodies as "the garbage pile"
and (appearing on Short Order before) "the bacon double fatty melt,"
and your self-loathing just builds and builds. I mean, do we really
need to be this self-destructive? What's next, a website for children
of divorce entitled "You Are The Reason Mommy Left Daddy"? A montage of
depressing photos for people on suicide watch called "It Feels Like
Heaven Once All That Evil Finally Seeps Out of Your Wrists"? I'm not so
sure it's really all that healthy and empowering to embrace all the
terrible addictions in my life -- I already spend too much time
guzzling beer like a 50-year-old NASCAR fan and supplementing my World of Warcraft
addiction with a blog roll the size of Perez Hilton's ego. I frankly
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don't think I can take much more of this! If only I had something that
would instantly make the pain go away... say, like a bacon shell taco!
Oh sweet relief!